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Nowadays, as role models, famous people have an increasing influence on the young. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, as role models, famous people have an increasing influence on the young. Is it a positive or negative development?

essaydiscussionInfluence of CelebritiesYouth Development
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Famous people have increasingly become role models for the youth in many countries. However, I argue that this trend poses more drawbacks than benefits, overhyped idols and their lifestyle. On the one hand, it is true that celebrities have the potential to motivate their fans and audiences in certain regards. In truth, famous actors, musicians, and singers can inspire people through patience and talent. This can motivate young people and promote them to pursue excellence and success. Nevertheless, overfocus on famous people threatens occupations that make infinitely more meaningful contributions to society, such as teaching, healthcare, engineering, and community service work. People in these professions significantly improve society with their huge efforts but do not receive recognition relative to their importance. On the other hand, the lifestyles of some celebrities are objectionable in several ways. First, the glamor enjoyed and flexed by celebrities can lead youths to imagine unrealistic expectations about different aspects of life. This can negatively impact their self-image and well-being, especially in teenage girls who face beauty standards as a result of following, and being influenced by, female pop stars or actresses. Another issue is that many famous people are prone to making argumentative and harmful statements, many of which can be considered hate speech against particular groups of people or make a worse trend in teen life. If their followers are not clear enough, they might adopt such hateful attitudes. In conclusion, while celebrities have the ability to inspire audiences in some instances, overhyping their influence risks undermining more substantive role models and cultivating unhealthy priorities in young people. Thus, I hold that placing famous people in the position of role models is an overall negative development.
Introduction
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Thesis Statement

Body Paragraph 1
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Supporting Sentence

Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Conclusion
Restatement of Thesis

Final Thought

Overall Band Score: 7
Task Achievement
7.5
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear argument with supporting points. However, it could benefit from more detailed examples.
Lexical Resource
6.5
The vocabulary used is appropriate but lacks variety and sophistication in some areas. There are instances of repetition.
Coherence & Cohesion
7
The essay presents a clear argument with a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Grammatical Range
7
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are minor errors.

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