Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting arguments. However, it could benefit from more detailed examples and a stronger conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and some inaccuracies in word choice.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents a clear argument against the proposal, but the flow between ideas could be improved. Some sentences are lengthy and could benefit from clearer transitions.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that detract from clarity.