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Resarch indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Resarch indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

essay2 Part QuestionsPersonality DevelopmentNature Vs Nurture
Writing Structure
The question of whether our personality and development are shaped more by the traits we inherit or by the experiences we go through is often debated. Some believe that the qualities we are born with are the main factors in who we become, while others think that our life experiences have a bigger impact. In my opinion, although both play a role, our experiences shape us more deeply over time. Firstly, it is true that the traits we inherit influence our personality in some ways. For example, people can be naturally quiet or outgoing, and some might have a talent for music or math. These natural qualities act as a strating point for who we are. For instance, someone born with a cautious nature may tend to avoid risks, while someone with lively personality might often seek new experiences. In this way, our genes provide an initial base for how we might act. However, the experiences in life can change, shape and build upon these natural traits. For example, a quiet person may become more social because of an environment that encourages talking and connection. Childhood, especially, plays a huge role in who we grow up to be, as family, school and friendships teach us how to see our selves and the world. later in life, experiences like career paths and personal challenges also influence our personality. These experiences teach us, help us grow, and sometime change who we are beyond our natural traits. In conclusion, while our genes give us a base, I believe that life experiences have a bigger impact in who we become. Experiences help us to grow, adapt, and even change parts of our personality.
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Overall Band Score: 6.5
Task Achievement
7
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear opinion and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more impactful.
Lexical Resource
6
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and a lack of variety in word choice. Some phrases could be more sophisticated.
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5
The essay presents a clear argument with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance overall coherence.
Grammatical Range
6.5
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are minor errors that affect clarity.

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