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TOPIC Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects Other people think that in today s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.2

TOPIC Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects Other people think that in today s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History 2
* This is the first time I' ve written an IELTS WRITING TASK 2. Hope you guys give me my band score for this essay and some advice for the next time. Thank you so much! * In the eyes of some people, History is one of the most necessary school subjects. Otherwise, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History in today' s world. In fact, both these views have a great deal of true points. First and foremost, we know History is one of the most important school subjects now. In History, we have learnt about legendary heroes, who fighted for peach and independence. Famous revolutions, dynasties have been learnt in History. History likes a bridge, which connect young generation to the past. Besides students learn about History, they also focus on good qualites from ancestor, such as honesty, respect, kind, . . . That' s the reason why History is known as the most important school subjects. We can' t deny the important of History in our life. Secondly, Science and Technology are compulsory subjects at school. We learn about theory, numbers and statisty. When you want to apply for a scolarship to study abroad, you have to do a test which called SAT. It' s a test for Math skills, so Science is really important. If you want to study oversea and work with modern technology, you must study Technology well. They are help us develop our mind and get a bright future. If you study well two subjects, you will establish positive energy in your brain and you will become more active in some difficult circumstances. In conclusion, both these views are true. We learn History for our soul, to keep our memories from the past. Besides, we learn Science and Technology for our brain, to get more knowledge. Both these views are true and we should follow them to improve ourshelf in the future. 280 words
* This is the
first
time
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I&
#039; ve written an IELTS WRITING TASK 2. Hope you guys give me my band score for this essay and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice for the
next
time. Thank you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much! *

In the eyes of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is one of the most necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Otherwise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world. In fact, both these views have a great deal of true points.

First
and foremost, we know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
, we have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
about legendary heroes, who
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "fought", the past tense form of the verb 'fight'?
fighted
for peach and independence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Famous
revolutions, dynasties have been
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
likes a bridge, which connect young generation to the past.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
, they
also
focus on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
qualites
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
from


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ancestor
, such as honesty, respect, kind
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
That&
#039; s the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is known
as the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. We
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t deny the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
in our life.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about theory, numbers and
Possible spelling mistake found.
statisty
. When you want to apply for a
Possible spelling mistake found.
scolarship
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
abroad, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
which called SAT.
Possible spelling mistake found.
It&
#039; s a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
for Math
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. If you want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
oversea and work with modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
well. They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us develop our mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a bright future. If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
well two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, you will establish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
energy in your brain and you will become more active in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficult circumstances.

In conclusion
, both these views are true. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
for our soul, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our memories from the past.
Besides
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
for our brain, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more knowledge. Both these views are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
true and
we should follow them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
ourshelf
in the future.

280 words
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes

IELTS essay TOPIC Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects Other people think that in today s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History 2

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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