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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods.

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods.

essayopinionObesity CrisisFood Pricing
Writing Structure
It is well known that obesity has become a worldwide public health problem in modern society. Experts throughout the developing and developed world have debated whether increasing the price of fast food could be a solution to tackle this situation. This essay will discuss both the benefits and detriments of this radical measure by giving examples from the US Food and Drug Administration and the UK government to demonstrate point of views and support arguments. Firstly, it is important to consider the potential ramifications of higher prices in junk food. For instance, most people who earn minimum salary wedges, prefer to buy this type of food as the cost is generally lower than organic products. Empiric research by the US Food and Drug Administration showed that a hamburger is 50% cheaper than 1 liter of whole milk. Thus, increasing prices could surge the number of hunger and starvation among citizens. Additionally, the economy of a country could be affected by such proposal, due to the fact that a vast number of businesses around the world, involves fattening food. Experts in the economy field have demonstrated that more than 60% of the most successful companies in the US are in the fast-food industry. Therefore, rising the price of this type of aliments could decrease the number of customers, which eventually could be the reason of business closures as well as limit the access to nutrients to deprived people. On the other hand, the consequences of consuming unhealthy food cannot be overlooked. Recent study by the World Health Organization showed that 90% of the causes of cardiovascular diseases including heart attacks and strokes, are related to high-fat intake. Moreover, stablishing limited access to this type of diets, due to high cost, could restrict the access to it. Experts of the UK government reported a significant decrease in the number hypertension patients since the increase of the price in junk food. Therefore, it is abundantly clear, the positive impacts on society of incrementing the cost of unhealthy food, as it could reduce the probability of suffering from fatal health conditions. In conclusion, from the arguments and examples given, I firmly agree with higher prices in high fat nutrition is an appropriate solution for overweight due to the fact the advantages overweigh the negative impacts, however, additional action plans should be taken to prevent the economy of a country be affected by this measure.
Introduction
Background Information

Thesis Statement

Outline Statement

Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Example Sentence

Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Conclusion
Restatement of Thesis

Overall Band Score: 6.5
Task Achievement
6.5
The essay addresses the task and presents arguments for both sides, but the conclusion lacks a strong summary of the main points and could be more decisive.
Lexical Resource
6
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and repetition. Some word choices are not precise.
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some ideas are not logically sequenced, and transitions between points could be smoother.
Grammatical Range
6
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder clarity.

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