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The maps below show the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The maps below show the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.
In this day and age, food has become an inseparable relationship with human. It has been far cheaper than in the past due to improved fertilizers and developed machines. Few sections of society think that it could be led, to be detriment our health and might influence a negative on local communities. I personally agree with this premise. This essay will decipher various reasons for my standpoint. It seems that, using a too much a fertilizer would not a good way of growing vegetables such as potato, sweet potato and onion. Several scientist studies that the plant which used to consume fertilizers, it tends to be less nutrition with small size. In addition, too much utilizing a fertilizer will affect the erosion of soil and cause pollution. By contrast, it is likely to slightly need most of vegetables to grow well and make a profit. For example, chemical materials have a role in the agriculture industry. Not only that, it fosters a lot of vegetables in a short-term. On top of that, it is undeniable merit that organic foods are useful for people's health, which means farmers do not use chemical things, although they are very expensive to nations. However, eating only organic product does not mean that it could result in healthier than consuming non-organic ones. Moreover, because of machinery development could make the removal of detrimental things. So it is not necessary to worry about our health. In a nutshell, I think the most serious problem eats unhealthy food for many children like fast food or pizza. Therefore, all of considered things are that proper food consumption is more important than using fertilizer.
In this day and age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has become an inseparable relationship with human. It has been far cheaper than in the past due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertilizers
and developed machines. Few sections of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it could
be led
, to be detriment our health and might influence a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
on local communities. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this premise. This essay will decipher various reasons for my standpoint.

It seems that, using a too much a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertilizer
would not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of growing vegetables such as potato, sweet potato and onion. Several scientist studies that the plant which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertilizers
, it tends to be less nutrition with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
size.
In addition
, too much utilizing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertilizer
will affect the erosion of soil and cause pollution. By contrast, it is likely to
slightly
need
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the vegetables") or simply say "most vegetables".
most of vegetables
to grow well and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit.
For example
, chemical materials have a role in the agriculture industry. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, it fosters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
vegetables in
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a short-term
.

On top of that
, it is undeniable merit that organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are useful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health, which means farmers do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
chemical things, although they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive to nations.
However
, eating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
organic product does not mean that it could result in healthier than consuming non-organic ones.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of machinery development could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the removal of detrimental things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is not necessary to worry about our health.

In a nutshell, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most serious problem eats unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or pizza.
Therefore
, all of considered things are that proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertilizer
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay The maps below show the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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