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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

essaydiscussionChild DevelopmentParenting Styles
Writing Structure
Introduction
Background Information

Unclassified Sentences

Thesis Statement

Transition Sentence

Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Conclusion
Restatement of Thesis

Final Thought

Overall Band Score: 6.5
Task Achievement
6.5
The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, but the development of ideas could be more thorough. Some points lack sufficient support or examples.
Lexical Resource
6
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and a lack of more sophisticated language. Some phrases could be more precise.
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some ideas could be better linked, and transitions between points could be smoother.
Grammatical Range
6
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are errors in punctuation and sentence complexity that affect clarity.

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