Task Achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, but the development of ideas could be more thorough. Some points lack sufficient support or examples.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and a lack of more sophisticated language. Some phrases could be more precise.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some ideas could be better linked, and transitions between points could be smoother.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are errors in punctuation and sentence complexity that affect clarity.