Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear opinion. However, the arguments could be developed further with more specific examples and evidence to support the claims.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and some awkward phrasing. The range of vocabulary could be expanded to include more sophisticated terms.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents a clear argument with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother, and the conclusion lacks a strong summarization of the main arguments.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that detract from clarity.