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The maps below shoe the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. v.1

The maps below shoe the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. v. 1
Shopping plays a vital role as it becomes a chore for every individual. Although, it is debatable whether it will be treated as a positive development. For today's generation, going to buy stuff in the market becomes much easier than the earlier times. For instance, if a person needs a trouser, he/she has hundreds of varieties to get it and that too from multiple shops. On the other hand, earlier generation had to struggle to get a particular taste due to lesser options available in the market. Furthermore, with the innovation in technology sector, it becomes a handy for the people to buy the stuff using credit cards anytime whereas it was hard for an individual to buy stuff right away due to lack of funds and with no credit options available. This also puts a negative impact on the mind a human being as it increases the spending power by getting influence of the advertising. Moreover, it has been noticed that families are usually going for shopping or outing once a week, this increases a valuable time between them. But on the other hand, it’s a fact that just for one day outing, parents are working from sun to the moon in full week to earn well, which puts a negative impression. In contrary, older ones invest equal time in both with their loved ones and towards their work. In the nutshell, I would recommend earned well spend well theory should be adopted by each and every one of us, so that it will keep the economy running in a positive trend.
Shopping plays a vital role as it becomes a chore for every individual. Although, it is debatable whether it will
be treated
as a
positive
development.

For
today
's generation, going to
buy
stuff in the market becomes much easier than the earlier times.
For instance
, if a person needs a trouser, he/she has hundreds of varieties to
get
it and that too from multiple shops.
On the other hand
, earlier generation had to struggle to
get
a particular taste due to lesser options available in the market.

Furthermore
, with the innovation in technology sector, it becomes a handy for the
people
to
buy
the stuff using credit cards anytime whereas it was
hard
for an individual to
buy
stuff right away due to lack of funds and with no credit options available. This
also
puts a
negative
impact on the mind a human being as it increases the spending power by getting influence of the advertising.

Moreover
, it has
been noticed
that families are
usually
going for shopping or outing once a week, this increases a valuable time between them.
But
on the other hand
, it’s a fact that
just
for one day outing, parents are working from sun to the moon in full week to earn well, which puts a
negative
impression. In contrary, older
ones
invest equal time in both with their
loved
ones
and towards their work.

In the nutshell, I would recommend earned
well spend well
theory should
be adopted
by
each and every one
of us,
so
that it will
keep
the economy running in a
positive
trend.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay The maps below shoe the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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