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the chart bellow shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011 v.1

the chart bellow shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011 v. 1
In today's information age, electronic and print media play a crucial role in keeping society updated about the latest news and emergencies. They help people to understand with facts and figures and thus develop an opinion. Such opinions, often reflect collective sentiments as to what is right and what is wrong. Thus, media outlets can easily influence people's mind and hence is a powerful tool. But with great power comes great responsibility. Newspapers and TV channels have to carefully select and portray news that merely do not present facts, but also make viewers understand the moral and ethical part of the story. So, reporters need to focus more on the positive developments that happen worldwide. These might be as trivial as an inauguration of a bridge or a new building. Such things boost morale of the audience and portray a ray of hope in these dark times. Yet, according to the survey conducted by a research organisation, newspapers on an average, have at least six out of ten news that are only about problematic and emergency situations. This is due to the fact that violence and negativity sell easily and such incidents are not too hard to find as they take place very frequently. But, all TV channels and newspapers who have experimented on portraying problems and violence have failed to keep viewer-ship high at all times. Too much negative or violence usually takes a toll on viewers' mental health. It eventually creates a grim and depressing picture in the minds of the audience and so eventually they avoid such news by skipping such channels. In conclusion, it can be said that reportings of incidents need to be truthful and present a positive picture while clearly stating the real facts about the situation.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's information age, electronic and print media play a crucial role in keeping society updated about the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and emergencies. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to understand with facts and figures and
thus
develop an opinion. Such opinions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reflect collective sentiments as to what is right and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Thus
, media outlets can
easily
influence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind and
hence
is a powerful tool.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with great power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
great responsibility. Newspapers and TV channels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carefully
select and portray
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that
merely
do not present facts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
viewers understand the moral and ethical part of the story.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, reporters need to focus more on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments that happen worldwide. These might be as trivial as an inauguration of a bridge or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
building. Such things boost morale of the audience and portray a ray of hope in these dark times.

Yet
, according to the survey conducted by a research
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, newspapers on an average, have at least six out of ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about problematic and emergency situations. This is due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that violence and negativity sell
easily
and such incidents are not too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find as they take place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
frequently
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, all TV channels and newspapers who have experimented on portraying problems and violence have failed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
viewer-ship high at all times. Too much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
or violence
usually
takes a toll on viewers' mental health. It
eventually
creates a grim and depressing picture in the minds of the audience and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
eventually
they avoid such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
by skipping such channels.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
reportings
of incidents need to be truthful and present a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
picture while
clearly
stating the real facts about the situation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay the chart bellow shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011 v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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