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The below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now and plans for its development Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now and plans for its development
It is considered by some that be accepting of bad situations in their life is the best way to face them, while others emphasise that better solution is to direct effort to resolve problems. This essay discusses both perspectives, and why I think that when negative circumstances occur, we should try to seek solutions. First reason, why people accept being in a difficult situation is that they do not have an impact on what happened to them and sometimes are not able to change the situation. In this case, the best what they can do is to be accepting of a difficult position. For instance, children from poor families, who live in the countryside, probably do not have any possibility to solve the problem of money shortage. However, instead of dwelling on how miserable their position is, these children can accept that they do not have so many toys like their peers. This solution will help them to maintain a good mood and enjoy their childhood. On the other hand, some say that even in a serious predicament, we should always try to seek any solutions. According to this way of thinking, children from the previous example can find a job that can be done after school, such as taking neighbours' dogs out for a walk or picking seasonal fruits during the holiday. Since they earn some extra money the will can not only effort to buy a favourite toy but also they will learn how to be responsible for their own money. In other words, looking for the way to improve the position can be a valuable lesson and greate opportunity to gain new skills. In conclusion, it is undoubted that both sides have merits. However, I believe it is better to always make an effort to change a difficult situation because it not only increases the likelihood of success and being in a better position but also can teach us something valuable. So, as we can see finding solutions to our problems is much more beneficial than accepting them.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that be accepting of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
in their life is the best way to face them, while others
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
that better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is to direct effort to resolve problems. This essay discusses both perspectives, and why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
circumstances occur, we should try to seek solutions.

First
reason, why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
accept being in a difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is that they do not have an impact on what happened to them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
In this case
, the best what they can do is to be accepting of a difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
.
For instance
, children from poor families, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the countryside,
probably
do not have any possibility to solve the problem of money shortage.
However
,
instead
of dwelling on how miserable their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
is, these children can accept that they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
toys like their peers. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mood and enjoy their childhood.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that even in a serious predicament, we should always try to seek any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
. According to this way of thinking, children from the previous example can find a job that can
be done
after school, such as taking
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
' dogs out for a walk or picking seasonal fruits during the holiday. Since they earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra money the will can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
toy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they will learn how to be responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money.
In other words
, looking for the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
can be a valuable lesson and
Possible spelling mistake found.
greate
opportunity to gain new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, it
is undoubted
that both sides have merits.
However
, I believe it is better to always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increases the likelihood of success and being in a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can teach us something valuable.
“So , as” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, as
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to our problems is much more beneficial than accepting them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay The below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now and plans for its development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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