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the bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014 v.1

the bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014 v. 1
In today's world, images in the form of photographs, films and pictures are used everywhere as a means of communicating with the public. I certainty agree that such images have become a very powerful means of communication and they are used in many different sectors to influence, inform and entertain the public. The media, for example, use images to give detailed information and immediate impact to their news coverage. Similarly, advertising industries constantly use images to influence, persuade and make people identify with what they see. The powerful attraction of images is also evident in the entertainment industry and even in the growth in mobile phones that can send photos as part of a regular personal 'conversation'. However, while it is evident that the image has certainly become a very powerful way of communicating, that it not to say that it has become more powerful than either the written or spoken word. Images can be interpreted in a range of different ways, and because of this they are rarely used alone. Captions, headlines and written explanations or spoken commentaries almost always accompany the use of images, whether they are used in advertising or the media. Used alone, the message of a picture can be notoriously misleading, and is less effective as a result. In conclusion, therefore, I only partly agree with the statement. While it is true that images can send very powerful messages, they are only really effective as a means of communication when used together with either the written or spoken word.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
in the form of photographs, films and pictures are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
everywhere as a means of communicating with the public.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'I'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I certainty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
have become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powerful
means of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
communication and
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors to influence, inform and entertain the public.

The media,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
to give detailed information and immediate impact to their news coverage.
Similarly
, advertising industries
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
to influence, persuade and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
identify with what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powerful
attraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
is
also
evident in the entertainment industry and even in the growth in mobile phones that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
photos as part of a regular personal 'conversation'.

However
, while it is evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
has
certainly
become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powerful
way of communicating, that it not to say that it has become more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powerful
than either the written or spoken word.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Images
can
be interpreted
in a range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways, and
because of this
they are rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
alone. Captions, headlines and written explanations or spoken commentaries almost always accompany the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
, whether they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in advertising or the media.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Used
alone, the message of a picture can be
notoriously
misleading, and is less effective
as a result
.

In conclusion
,
therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement. While it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powerful
messages, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
really
effective as a means of communication when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
together with either the written or spoken word.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay the bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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