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Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools, others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools, others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 1
In recent decades, the question of whether or not it is more beneficial to send students to single-sex schools has received a great deal of public attention. Although this choice appears attractive, the disadvantages will be far more significant. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why some think that students should study in single-gender schools. First, since boys and girls have different learning needs, it is better for them to be taught separately. In fact, single-sex schools offer teaching styles, subject choices and learning programmes that are entirely focused on either boys or girls, which would help each individual pursue their strengths and passions. Second, by enrolling in the same-sex schools, students will have less chance for early relationships. Without worrying about these distractions, they might be able to concentrate more on their studies, and therefore, might get higher academic results than those at co-ed schools. On the other hand, I would argue that it would be better for students to enter mixed-gender education. Firstly, in order to raise students’ gender awareness, it is really necessary to teach them in co-ed schools. For example, male and female students are given the chance to explore each other's perspective, their similarities and differences, which leads to better knowledge about co-existence and gender equality in students. Secondly, if students participate in mixed-classes, they will have the opportunity to interact and take part in group work activities with opposite-sex classmates. This may help them learn a wide range of skills such as communication or teamwork which are necessary for their later jobs. In conclusion, although some people think that students should be sent to single-sex schools, I personally believe that mixed-gender education brings more benefits for students.
In recent decades,
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
or not it is more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has received a great deal of public attention. Although this choice appears attractive, the disadvantages will be far more significant.

On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should study in single-gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
First
, since boys and girls have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
learning needs, it is better for them to
be taught
separately
. In fact, single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
offer teaching styles, subject choices and learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
that are
entirely
focused on either boys or girls, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each individual pursue their strengths and passions. Second, by enrolling in the same-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have less chance for early relationships. Without worrying about these distractions, they might be able to concentrate more on their studies, and
therefore
, might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher academic results than those at co-ed schools.

On the other hand
, I would argue that it would be better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enter mixed-gender education.
Firstly
, in order to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
gender awareness, it is
really
necessary to teach them in co-ed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
For example
, male and female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance to explore each other's perspective, their similarities and differences, which leads to better knowledge about co-existence and gender equality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
participate in mixed-classes, they will have the opportunity to interact and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in group work activities with opposite-sex classmates. This may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them learn a wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as communication or teamwork which are necessary for their later jobs.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, I
personally
believe that mixed-gender education brings more benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools, others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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