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some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.8

some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 8
Education is the one of the most important things for both boys and girls. Several people believe that educating both girls and boys in individual schools are more effective, while rest people suppose that coeducation system is more better. In my opinion, I think coeducation system is good for the society. Now I am going to discuss about what are the benefits of both separate schools and mixed schools. Firstly, educating boys and girls in gender diversity schools easy to communicate with their opposite gender in real life. This opportunity can be later transferred into their personal lives. For example, If the people working in the company they have to continue communication with other who are working in the same company. If they didn't do that they couldn't be top in their group work even though without being friendly with others, it can be a huge loss for the company. Secondly, both girls and boys have different abilities to learn different study material, even sport because of that they can help each other to improve their knowledge about subjects also improve their skills in sport. For example, boys are more talented in cricket more than girls because they usually watch all the cricket matches therefore boys can teach to the girls about how to achieve high marks in cricket and what are the tips to win the game. On the other hand, some others consider the educating girls and boys separately is best, one of the main reasons for that is studying in this system student lend to be more focussed on studies rather than being distracted to all fantasy of teenage. Nowadays unnecessary relationship is the main reason that students trying to kill themselves even do such harmful things such as suicide, cutting their hands. Although I think both school system should teach their students how to stay strong in their problems. In conclusion, educating both types of education system, mixed schools and separate school student can get a different experience in their life.
Education is the one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and girls.

Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are more effective, while rest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suppose that coeducation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
.

In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
coeducation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I am going to
Did you mean simply "discuss what"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about what
are the benefits of both separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and mixed schools.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in gender diversity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
easy to communicate with their opposite gender in real life. This opportunity can be later transferred into their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
continue communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
who are working in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. If they didn't do that they couldn't be top in their group work
even though
without being friendly with others, it can be a huge loss for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Secondly
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
abilities to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
study material, even sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge about subjects
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in sport.

For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are more talented in cricket more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
all the cricket matches
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
can teach to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
about how to achieve high marks in cricket and what are the tips to win the game.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
separately
is best, one of the main reasons for
that is
studying in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
lend to be more focussed on studies
rather
than
being distracted
to all fantasy of teenage. Nowadays unnecessary relationship is the main reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
trying to kill themselves even do such harmful things such as suicide, cutting their hands.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
how to stay strong in their problems.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
both types of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
experience in their life.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 8

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
335 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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