Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v.34

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 34
Nowadays, the co-educational system is considered as the best option in many countries. Some believe that it is better that young females and males study separately, while others mention that studying together can be more beneficial. I will discuss both sides and will give my opinion. On the one hand, those believing that education systems should be a separate gender-based system have their own reasons. One is that this method can be safer. Every year, numerous sexual offences are reported by the local or national news, regarding of rape or other inappropriate sexual behaviours, especially in countries permitting both genders to study in one school. However, studying in single-gender-institutions can reduce the rate of these figures. As a prime example, thousands of sexual assaults are reported in the U. S. schools annually but had the government considered unisex education, these rates would have dramatically decreased. Another reason is that this system may raise religious conflicts. In some countries, some opponents are not interested in sending their children to these types of schools, and this has become hot potato between different religious groups. For instance, French Islamic citizens prefer their children to study in a single sex school, whereas the administration admits both genders in one educational place. On the other hand, I personally give a green light to those supporting co-educational system. The first reason behind it is that this system definitely would be less costly. Clearly, to divide girls and boys, governments have to spend more money on education because they cannot use empty spaces of a female school for a male one, or vice versa. As a result, less educational facilities should be provided for scholars, declining the total education budget. Furthermore, this method can improve students’ communication skills. Obviously, having a better relationship with the opposite sex, juveniles will have a closer relationship not only during their study but during their matrimonial life. They generally have fewer marriage problems with their partner due to having a better experience before. In this way, Sigmund Freud, a very familiar former psychologist, believe that humans’ social skills are fundamentally developed as they have closer feelings to their opposite sex during childhood. In conclusion, although in some countries co-educational system is not popular, I agree with it. Not only in this measure more governmental budget can be saved, but youth can have better relationships with the opposite gender. Hopefully, a global tendency will propagate this method of education in the near future.
Nowadays, the co-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is considered
as the best option in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
that young females and males
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
separately
, while others mention that studying together can be more beneficial. I will discuss both sides and will give my opinion.

On the one hand, those believing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
should be a separate gender-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons. One is that this method can be safer. Every year, numerous sexual
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
are reported
by the local or national news, regarding of rape or other inappropriate sexual
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
permitting both genders to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
, studying in single-gender-institutions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate of these figures. As a prime example, thousands of sexual assaults
are reported
in the U. S.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
annually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
had the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
considered unisex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, these rates would have
dramatically
decreased. Another reason is that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
may raise religious conflicts. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opponents are not interested in sending their children to these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, and this has become hot potato between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religious groups.
For instance
, French Islamic citizens prefer their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in a single sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, whereas the administration admits both genders in one educational place.

On the other hand
, I
personally
give a green light to those supporting co-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. The
first
reason behind it is that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
definitely would be less costly.
Clearly
, to divide girls and boys,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
empty spaces of a female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for a male one, or vice versa.
As a result
, less educational facilities should
be provided
for scholars, declining the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
budget.
Furthermore
, this method can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
students’ communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Obviously
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
relationship with the opposite sex, juveniles will have a closer relationship not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
during their matrimonial life. They
generally
have fewer marriage problems with their partner due to having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In this way, Sigmund Freud, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
familiar former psychologist, believe that humans’ social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
fundamentally
developed as they have closer feelings to their opposite sex during childhood.

In conclusion
, although in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
co-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is not popular, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in this measure more governmental budget can
be saved
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
youth can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
relationships with the opposite gender.
Hopefully
, a global tendency will propagate this method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the near future.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 34

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
411 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts