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Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v.33

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 33
The topic of whether boys and girls should be taught in mixed schools has been a contentious issue ever since the initiation of women’s rights movements. Some argue that the practice of teaching boys and girls in the same school should be upheld, while others refute this.   Both sides of this debate will be analysed in this essay before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. In one camp, it is believed that educating boys and girls in a co-education system reaps numerous bounties. For example, most women rights activists contend that instructing males and females together enhances the understanding between the two genders. This equips members of both genders with the necessary skills which can later be transferred into their personal lives, and as result enjoy a higher degree of matrimonial bliss. Thus, it is clear why many people support the idea of co-education. On the other hand, many consider the practice of educating girls and boys separately is best. For example, Saudi Arabia is often mocked for its conservative culture. Despite this, Saudi Arabia has one of the lowest rape and sexual assault rates in the world. One of the reasons cited for this is the segregation on the basis of gender in the educational institutes. When looking at this side of the debate, the benefits that are derived from separate schools for girls and boys can be seen. Although both sides of this argument have indisputable virtues, it is felt that practice of educating male and female pupils in the same school is much more of a positive development than negative. Therefore, it is hoped that the trend of co-education schools will continue to be the norm the world over into the foreseeable future.
The topic of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
should
be taught
in mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has been a contentious issue ever since the initiation of women’s rights movements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that the practice of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should
be upheld
, while others refute this.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Both sides of this debate will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
in this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a reasoned conclusion
is drawn
.

In one camp, it
is believed
that educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in a co-education system reaps numerous bounties.
For example
, most women rights activists contend that instructing males and females together enhances the understanding between the two genders. This equips members of both genders with the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which can later
be transferred
into their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and as result enjoy a higher degree of matrimonial bliss.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of co-education.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consider the practice of educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
separately
is best.
For example
, Saudi Arabia is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
mocked for its conservative culture. Despite this, Saudi Arabia has one of the lowest rape and sexual assault rates in the world. One of the reasons cited for this is the segregation on the basis of gender in the educational institutes. When looking at this side of the debate, the benefits that
are derived
from separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.

Although both sides of this argument have indisputable virtues, it
is felt
that practice of educating male and female pupils in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is much more of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
Therefore
, it
is hoped
that the trend of co-education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will continue to be the norm the world over into the foreseeable future.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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