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Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.28

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 28
Despite the fact that it is believed that some people tend to register their kids in separate schools, I believe boys and girls will benefit more by interacting with the same school. In this essay, I am going to shed some light on both these views and also add my own opinion. As a matter of fact, there are some beliefs that children should attend a school which only their own gender is educating. Obviously, as I used to be a student in Iran, which mixed schools are so rare and expensive, I have educated from a separate system. Indeed, this experience could not help me get along pretty well with boys. This kind of school, mostly are religious and I suppose this might not be the field that we want our kids to learn while they are at school. Also attending these institutes will not give the chance to juveniles to get to know the opposite sex. I myself did not get to have any boyfriends until I got accepted to University, for instance. On the flip side, there are many more advantages for our junior to go to mixed schools. Moreover, studying in an atmosphere with different gender would make a competition between boys and girls which can help them to improve their scores. Furthermore, there is another chance for both groups to get to know the differences between themselves and their opposite-sex both physically and mentally since they are so young. For example, after a few years of being friends and trying to know about each other differences and attitudes, kids get to get along better not only with their own gender but also with the opposites. In conclusion, additionally to all information above and as someone who never got the chance of being educated in mixed institute, I think trying to help our own kid to have more communication with both gender at the same time will benefit their future lifestyle and also their relationship.
Despite the fact that it
is believed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to register their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, I believe boys and girls will benefit more by interacting with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In this essay, I am going to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on both these views and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

As a matter of fact, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beliefs that children should attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
gender is educating.
Obviously
, as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a student in Iran, which mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rare and expensive, I have educated from a separate system.
Indeed
, this experience could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along pretty well with boys. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
mostly
are religious and I suppose this might not be the field that we want our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to learn while they are at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Also
attending these institutes will not give the chance to juveniles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the opposite sex. I myself did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to have any boyfriends until I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to University,
for instance
.

On the flip side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more advantages for our junior to go to mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Moreover
, studying in an atmosphere with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
gender would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a competition between boys and girls which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their scores.
Furthermore
, there is another chance for both groups to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the differences between themselves and their opposite-sex both
physically
and mentally since they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
young.
For example
, after a few years of being friends and trying to know about each other differences and attitudes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along better not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
gender
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with the opposites.

In conclusion
,
additionally
to all information above and as someone who never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the chance of
being educated
in mixed institute, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
to have more communication with both gender at the same time will benefit their future lifestyle and
also
their relationship.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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