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Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.17

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 17
Some would argue that boys and girls should be educated in different institutions, while others would believe that it is more advantageous if they study in the same schools. While attending separate schools allow boys and girls to fulfil religious demand, I believe that children would be more comfortable to face their counterparts of the opposite gender, which is necessary for their professional career. On the one hand, it is better for the opposite gender to study in different teaching institutes in the religious aspects. This is to say that some religion demands people to keep enough distance between males and females as per their own definitions. Hence, not allowing children to study in the same school supports that view and requirement. For example, boys and girls must attend separate tuitions in Kuwait because of their Islamic law. However, I believe this do not allow children to be confident enough to face individuals of the opposite gender in the future. On the other hand, the co-education system helps children to be comfortable in front of opposite sexes, which is extremely necessary for their career. This means studying together allow boys and girls to interact and understand each other properly. This develops confidence in them so that they deal with each other without any hesitation, which is essential for their profesional daily lives. For instance, a recent study conducted by the BBC News revealed that a 79% of people who cope better with their colleagues studied in mixed schools. Therefore, I think mixed schools are more important to educate boys and girls. In conclusion, although separate tuitions as per the gender of pupils help to address religious requirement, I think that co-education system supports individuals to be confident in front of people of opposite gender, which is necessary for their future career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
should
be educated
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
institutions, while others would believe that it is more advantageous if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. While attending separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
to fulfil religious demand, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be more comfortable to face their counterparts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
gender, which is necessary for their professional career.

On the one hand, it is better for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
gender to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
teaching institutes in the religious aspects. This is to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
religion demands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
distance between males and females as per their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
definitions.
Hence
, not allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
supports that view and requirement.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
attend separate
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
in Kuwait
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their Islamic law.
However
, I believe
The verb 'do' is plural. Did you mean: "this does"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this do
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be confident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to face individuals of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
gender in the future.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the co-education system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be comfortable in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
sexes, which is
extremely
necessary for their career. This means studying together
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
to interact and understand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
properly
. This develops confidence in them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they deal with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
without any hesitation, which is essential for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
profesional
daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
, a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
conducted by the BBC News revealed that a 79% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who cope better with their colleagues studied in mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and girls.

In conclusion
, although separate
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
as per the gender of pupils
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "helps"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'help' is not always incorrect.)
help
to address religious requirement, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that co-education system supports individuals to be confident in front of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
gender, which is necessary for their future career.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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