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Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.12

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 12
Many people believe that children should not study in same gender schools, whereas others argue that adults should study in co-education. In my opinion, coeducation is better than separate education. This essay will discuss both the points with relevant examples. Firstly, many people want their children to study according to their gender. Most particularly, parents of a girl, want their girl should study in girls’ schools. This is mostly because of their religion, culture and customs. For instance, in Muslim countries, majorities of the students are studying in a separate school system. What I mean to say that their religion does not allow them to teach boys and girls in the same schools because they are very protected about their girls. Turning to the other side of the belief, many people opine that co-education is better than separate schools of boys and girls because it the modern era and there is no gender discriminations. Girls are working in all types of fields with males and if they had education in coeducation, they can easily compete and communicate with males. Even though, it is also happening in many Muslim countries where females are not allowed to study is work with males. For example, Saudi Arabia did not allow females to study with males, but now they have changed many of their laws and allow females to work. In conclusion, some people think that coeducation is better than separate education whereas many against it. I strongly believe that coeducation is better than separate due to latest demanding era.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
believe that children should not
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study
in same gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, whereas others argue that adults should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in co-education. In my opinion, coeducation is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
education. This essay will discuss both the points with relevant examples.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
according to their gender. Most
particularly
, parents of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
, want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This is
mostly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their religion, culture and customs.
For instance
, in Muslim countries, majorities of the students are studying in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
system. What I mean to say that their religion does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to teach boys and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
protected about their girls.

Turning to the other side of the belief,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that co-education is
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better
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
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schools
of boys and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
the modern era and there is no gender discriminations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Girls
are working in all types of fields with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and if they had education in coeducation, they can
easily
compete and communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
Even though
, it is
also
happening in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Muslim countries where females are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
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study
is work with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
For example
, Saudi Arabia did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
females to
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study
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of their laws and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
females to work.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that coeducation is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
education whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
against it. I
strongly
believe that coeducation is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
due to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
demanding era.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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