Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.11

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 11
Some argue that children of opposite sexes should be educated separately, while others say that it would be more beneficial if they were mixed. While separating students based on their sex helps them improve academically, I believe that mixed schools can help eliminate social awkwardness. On the one hand, some individuals believe that boys and girls should be taught separately because it helps them not to be distracted from their studies. If children are constantly mixed with opposite sexes, they are likely going to be involved with one another because attraction is a human nature and difficult to control. As a result, they would ignore their studies and concentrate more on these social activities. For example, according to the survey conducted by the American Education council, it was found that 60% of the top performing students were from single-sex schools. However, I believe that this view is not justified because many children from mixed schools perform well too. On the other hand, many believe that teaching children in mixed schools is very beneficial for them because it helps to eliminate social awkwardness. Many young adults, who study in single-sex schools develop social anxiety due to minimal interaction with opposite sexes. Mixed schools help in solving this issue and children do not have this fear while growing up. For instance, similar initiatives were carried out in UAE, where single-sex schools are more common, and the results were extremely positive. I believe that mixed schools are more beneficial because they improve a child’s social skills along with his studies. In conclusion, while single-sex schools help to avoid distractions among children, the social skills that they receive in mixed schools is far more beneficial for their development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexes
should
be educated
separately
, while others say that it would be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
if they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
. While separating students based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
academically
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
awkwardness.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that boys and girls should
be taught
separately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them not to
be distracted
from their studies. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
constantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
with opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexes
, they are likely going to
be involved
with one another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
attraction is a human nature and difficult to control.
As a result
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their studies and concentrate more on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities.
For example
, according to the survey conducted by the American Education council, it
was found
that 60% of the top performing students were from single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this view is not justified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
perform well too.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
awkwardness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young adults, who study in single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
anxiety due to minimal interaction with opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in solving this issue and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not have this fear while growing up.
For instance
, similar initiatives
were carried
out
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the UAE".
in UAE
, where single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are more common, and the results were
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
along with his studies.

In conclusion
, while single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to avoid distractions among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that they receive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is far more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
for their development.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts