Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 1
There is a difference of opinion on the type of school youngsters should attend. While some believe that both children should attend the same place of study, I would argue that attending separate schools is more advantageous to both girls and boys. Those who support the view that young people should attend study centers for both sides argue on the basis of increase self confidence these centers bring. They claim that being with peers of equal sex enhances self dependence among this set of children because this increases their sense of equality. Take for example, a girl will experience the feeling of assurance addressing a group of girls due to the fact that they can relate to her than if she was talking to a group of opposite sex. Thus, if young people can build this confidence from an early age by attending a gender only school this would enhance their ability to be confident in themselves. However, I would argue that the above can be learnt regardless of where a young child goes to learn. I believe that young people should attend study places that accommodates different genders because of increase in academic performance. Different researchers, for example, has shown significant rise in academic performances among children attending different sex schools than those who attend schools of the same sex. This simply means, there is a chance that if a child goes to centers of the same gender they may experience a decrease in performance. In conclusion, allowing youngsters go to study places for same gender may have an impact on their self confidence, I am of the opinion that a child should be allowed to go to a mixed school because this aids in their academic grades.
There is a difference of opinion on the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
youngsters should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that both children should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
the same place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, I would argue that attending separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is more advantageous to both girls and boys.

Those who support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
centers for both sides argue on the basis of increase
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
these centers bring. They claim that being with peers of equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
enhances self dependence among this set of children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this increases their sense of equality. Take
for example
, a girl will experience the feeling of assurance addressing a group of girls due to the fact that they can relate to her than if she was talking to a group of opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
.
Thus
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can build this confidence from an early age by attending a gender
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
this would enhance their ability to be confident in themselves.

However
, I would argue that the above can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
regardless of where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
child goes to learn. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
places that accommodates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increase in academic performance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
researchers,
for example
, has shown significant rise in academic performances among children attending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
than those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
of the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
. This
simply
means, there is a chance that if a child goes to centers of the same gender they may experience a decrease in performance.

In conclusion
, allowing youngsters go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
places for same gender may have an impact on their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
, I am of the opinion that a child should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go to a mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this aids in their academic grades.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts