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Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 2
These days in schools, students have a range of subjects like science, technology and history. While some people consider history to be one of the major subjects, others think science and technology are far more important. There are valid views on both sides, which I will discuss now. On the one hand, history is a very useful subject. Students get the opportunity to find out about past events that have occurred in their country and in the world. For example, they can learn about World War 1 and 2 and about the attack on the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. These might help the children to better understand the world they live in today and why certain things are the way they are such as the history behind the remarkable statue of liberty. Moreover, parts of history still form the present. For instance, the impressive pyramids still stand proudly in Egypt and archaeologists are continuously doing research to dig deeper into the life of Pharaohs to understand how they lived and what happened to their population. Indeed, history is very interesting. On the other hand, in this ever-growing society where technological inventions are in the limelight, teaching students about this subject would be wise. Since these children are the future of this world, it’s important that they already have basic understandings of technology. The latter is present everywhere, from the genetically modified food we eat to the aeroplanes in which we travel to visit another country. Furthermore, science in these times is of utmost importance. To illustrate this, it takes science to understand global warming and its effects, and to comprehend the spread of Coronavirus which is currently a world health threat. Therefore, science and technology are major subjects. In conclusion, I personally think that even though history is valuable, it is not as significant a subject as science and technology. Indeed, the students of today could be the scientists of tomorrow if given appropriate exposure to the related subjects, so that they can decide to pursue a career in these fields.
These days in schools,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
to be one of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. There are valid views on both sides, which I will discuss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to find out about past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that have occurred in their country and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For example
, they can learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
War 1 and 2 and about the attack on the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. These might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the children to better understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and why certain things are the way they are such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
behind the remarkable
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
statue of liberty
.
Moreover
, parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
still
form the present.
For instance
, the impressive pyramids
still
stand
proudly
in Egypt and archaeologists are
continuously
doing research to dig deeper into the life of Pharaohs to understand how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
and what happened to their population.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting.

On the other hand
, in this ever-growing society where technological inventions are in the limelight, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
would be wise. Since these children are the future of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that they already have basic understandings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. The latter is present everywhere, from the
genetically
modified food we eat to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
in which we travel to visit another country.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in these times is of utmost importance. To illustrate this, it takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
to understand global warming and its effects, and to comprehend the spread of Coronavirus which is
currently
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
health threat.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are major subjects.

In conclusion
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is valuable, it is not as significant a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Indeed
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
could be the scientists of tomorrow if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
appropriate exposure to the related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can decide to pursue a career in these fields.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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