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Some people say History is one one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and given your opinion. v.2

Some people say History is one one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 2
It is argued by Some that the subject History is the most essential subject in school, others, however believed that the focus should be in Science and Technology because of the worlds' technological advancement today. In my opinion, I agree that history subject teach valuable lessons for the students but Science and Technology is as equally important for the child' s learning development. Some people think that History subject is on e of the most vital subject in the school curriculum and there are obvious reasons for these. Firstly, His tory teaches the students to value their culture and tradition. Secondly, the lessons from the past offers the children a glimpse of old civilizations and the hard work and sacrifices their ancestors did to reach the freedom of their country, for example. By doing this, students will learn to respect and embrace their identity as a nation. On the other hand, others believed that SCience and Technology are much more important subject that should be taught in class. Todays generation has been living with sophisticated and advanced technology. Providing them basic fundamentals will equip them with necessary knowledge and skills that they might be use in the future. For Instance, a child might be interested in studying medicine in college. The informations prepared him for a broader branch of science in his university years. In conclusion, history subject offers a wider understanding about culture and tradition of one' s country while SCience and Technology focus on specific area in human functions and development. In my opinion, both are subjects that should be taught hand-in-hand in the class to ensure children' s success in their chosen career.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is the most essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in school, others,
however
believed that the focus should be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
worlds&
#039; technological advancement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
teach valuable lessons for the students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is as
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
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child&
#039; s learning development.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is on e of the most vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in the school curriculum and there are obvious reasons for these.
Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
His tory
teaches the students to value their culture and tradition.
Secondly
, the lessons from the past offers the children a glimpse of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
civilizations and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and sacrifices their ancestors did to reach the freedom of their country,
for example
. By doing this, students will learn to respect and embrace their identity as a nation.

On the other hand
, others believed that
Possible spelling mistake found.
SCience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that should
be taught
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Todays
generation has been living with sophisticated and advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Providing them
Consider using "fundamentals".
basic fundamentals
will equip them with necessary knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that they might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the future.
For Instance
, a child might
be interested
in studying medicine in college. The
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
prepared him for a broader branch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in his university years.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
offers a wider understanding about culture and tradition of
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s country while
Possible spelling mistake found.
SCience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
focus on specific area in human functions and development. In my opinion, both are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that should
be taught
hand-in-hand in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to ensure
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s success in their chosen career.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say History is one one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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