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Some people say History is one one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and given your opinion. v.1

Some people say History is one one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 1
Nowadays, the question of whether students should learn academic subjects, such as chemistry, physics and history or practical subjects and cooking has been receiving a great deal of attention. Although studying academic subjects is not without advantages, vocational courses will be far more considered There are a variety of reasons for studying academic subjects. Fist, since most graduates expect to land a decent job down the road, having access to academic courses is necessary. In fact, those subjects, such as Math or physics prepare for learners fundamental knowledge to do complex jobs, like doctors or engineers which require deeper understanding of the nature of the subjects, thus making them become competitive in labour markets. Second, by learning these subjects, students can continue higher education. This means that they armed with special knowledge to do research or study, which is conductive to the innovation of humanitarian and development later on There are a number of benefits of studying practical subjects. First, in order to make a living as soon as possible, having access to vocational courses is important. In fact, vocational training provides learners with a number of work experience without committing 4 years of college, which helps people get a well-paid job in the future, thus supporting themselves or raising a family. Second, by learning these subjects, students can help government in reaching a balance of labour markets. For example, the number of people having access to vocational courses becomes increasingly less in Canada and Japan, thus people choosing manual jobs, like cooking, cleaning can make a killing and help balance workforce in society In conclusion, both academic subjects and practical subjects are beneficial. Nevertheless, I personally believe that vocational training is more significant
Nowadays,
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
students should learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as chemistry, physics and history or practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and cooking has been receiving a great deal of attention. Although studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is not without advantages, vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will be far more considered

There are a variety of reasons for studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Fist, since most graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to land a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
down the road, having access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is necessary. In fact, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as Math or physics prepare for learners fundamental knowledge to do complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, like doctors or engineers which require deeper understanding of the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
thus
making them become competitive in
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
markets. Second, by learning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, students can continue higher education. This means that they armed with special knowledge to do research or study, which is conductive to the innovation of humanitarian and development later on

There are a number of benefits of studying practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
First
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible, having access to vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In fact, vocational training provides learners with a number of work experience without committing 4 years of college, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the future,
thus
supporting themselves or raising a family. Second, by learning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in reaching a balance of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
markets.
For example
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having access to vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
becomes
increasingly
less in Canada and Japan,
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choosing manual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, like cooking, cleaning can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a killing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
balance workforce in society

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are beneficial.
Nevertheless
, I
personally
believe that vocational training is more significant
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people say History is one one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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