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Some people say History is one of the most important subjects in school. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people say History is one of the most important subjects in school. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 2
It is a controversial issue whether subjects relating to science and technology are more important than History. Given the high development in science in the world over the past few decades and increased demand for technologist, schools should give more focus on science-related subjects. Knowing a country’s history is very important for every citizen of a country. Children can learn about their country’s history by reading history books at schools, for example, they can understand about the biographies of their famous political leaders and the wars that made their countries independent. Without this knowledge, no people can be proper citizens of a country and it will be a shame for them as residents. Besides, children can understand about patriotism and brave activities of their past leaders which motivate the present generation to be patriots. Moreover, History books help students know about other countries’ cultures which broaden their knowledge. However, school teachers should still ensure that the students gain much more knowledge about science and technology. Most of the developments in the world have been possible because of the rise of technology. In our day-to-day activities, we are closely related to technologies, for instance, using advanced medical technologies, smartphones, computers, internet etc. So, students need to gain deep knowledge about science and technologies so that they can easily understand how those technologies work. Besides, having a deep understanding of technology from the childhood stage will help them stay in a very competitive position in future job market. For example, gaining IT knowledge consistently make students skilled in operating computers and this will be a positive point in interview. To conclude, although we cannot deny the importance of history subject, students should give more attention to science-related subjects as these will be helpful for their future careers.
It is a controversial issue whether subjects relating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the high development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in the world over the past few decades and increased demand for technologist, schools should give more focus on science-related subjects.

Knowing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every citizen of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Children can learn about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
books at schools,
for example
, they can understand about the biographies of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
political leaders and the wars that made their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
independent. Without this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be proper citizens of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and it will be a shame for them as residents.
Besides
, children can understand about patriotism and brave activities of their past leaders which motivate the present generation to be patriots.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
know about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
cultures which broaden their knowledge.

However
, school teachers should
still
ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Most of the developments in the world have been possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. In our day-to-day activities, we are
closely
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
,
for instance
, using advanced medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, smartphones, computers, internet etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to gain deep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
easily
understand how those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
work.
Besides
, having a deep understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
from the childhood stage will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them stay in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive position in future job market.
For example
, gaining IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
consistently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
skilled in operating computers and this will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
point in interview.

To conclude
, although we cannot deny the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
subject,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should give more attention to science-related subjects as these will be helpful for their future careers.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important subjects in school. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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