Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects, other people think that in today's word, subjects like science and technology are more important than history Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects, other people think that in today's word, subjects like science and technology are more important than history 1
It is argued by some people that history is a major subject in schools, while others think that science and technology are important than history in recent world. This essay will discuss both the views and illustrates how technology and science outweighs other subjects. To begin with, history is one of the common subjects in school, in which a student can compare the life in the past to that of the present. The difficulties which were faced in the past like wars and struggle for lives can be learnt. So, a student might feel himself secure in this current generation, wherein with the freedom which he has acquired. In addition, he can learn about the heroism of the freedom fighters. One can learn how fighters ended up winning the war in the brawl. Thus, there is much more to learn from the history and compare with the facilities which have been provided in the present. However, on the other hand, a student can vision his future with science and technology. Firstly, these subjects helps students learn about the new innovations and technologies, through which students can be aware of trending gadgets which are helpful in their daily needs. For instance, mobile is such a technology which has gained attention of every youths, so it is better to have knowledge about this kind of technologies to compete in the current world. Secondly, learning such subjects will motivate students to create their own technology which contributes to the society. For example, a student can become an entrepreneur by innovating new technologies by utilising the concepts learnt. Thus, subjects like science and technology decides the future. To conclude, the history has its own impact on the lifestyle of the student, while the technology leads to the better future with the innovative ideas. In my opinion the subjects like science and technology will lead to great success in future, which might create a history in for future generations.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in schools, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are
Use "(important)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in recent world. This essay will discuss both the views and illustrates how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
outweighs other subjects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is one of the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in school, in which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can compare the life in the past to that of the present. The difficulties which
were faced
in the past like wars and struggle for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
might feel himself secure in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation, wherein with the freedom which he has acquired.
In addition
, he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the heroism of the freedom fighters. One can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how fighters ended up winning the war in the brawl.
Thus
, there is much more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and compare with the facilities which have
been provided
in the present.

However
,
on the other hand
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can vision his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the new innovations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, through which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be aware of trending gadgets which are helpful in their daily needs.
For instance
, mobile is such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which has gained attention of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "youth"?
youths
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is better to have knowledge about this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
to compete in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world.
Secondly
, learning such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which contributes to the society.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can become an entrepreneur by innovating new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
the concepts
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
decides the future.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
impact on the lifestyle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
leads to the better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
with the innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. In my opinion the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will lead to great success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, which might create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects, other people think that in today's word, subjects like science and technology are more important than history 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts