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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.7

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 7
The most important subjects are debatable in schools now a days but History is thought to be the most important one by some people. Others, however, think that Science and Technology are comparitively more important today than before and therefore schools should focus on these subjects more. This essay will discuss both sides and will explain why I believe Science and Technology should be given more importance. People who believe that History is a significant subject, strongly believe in previous achievements and inventions' significance. It is because they were invented by scientists and technologists who facilitated others lives and that is why their names should be mentioned in History books; For instance, the inventions like train for transportation or telephones for communication has helped everyone alot up till today. Moreover, History reminds people of the sacrifices their ancestors have done to give them freedom such as Qaid-e-Azam, who was the founder of Pakistan and he will be remembered forever in Hisotry books for his devotion towards his nation. On the other hand, those who wants to emphasize on Science and Technology subjects realises the importance of these fields. I also believe that these are the courses where students can learn and apply to bring huge changes in our surroundings. For example, good quality X-Ray machines have helped doctors diagnose diseases which were unknown for long time. Yes, it is true that History books can mention the inventions made by famous people but Science and Technology helps student become the inventors. Our future lies mostly in science and technology's research as it will help reduce diseases and make our lives more convenient by inventing new machines. Thus, these subjects should be more important than others. To conclude, Hisotry is persumed to be important for its valuable information about past but I believe that Science and Technology can not be ignored too as they are bringing huge difference in people's life. Looking at their importance, I beleive these subjects should be given more time in schools.
The most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are debatable in schools
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
one by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Others,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparitively
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and
therefore
schools should focus on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
more. This essay will discuss both sides and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more importance.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
,
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in previous achievements and inventions' significance. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
were invented
by scientists and technologists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
facilitated others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
that is
why their names should
be mentioned
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
books;
For instance
, the inventions like train for transportation or telephones for communication has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
everyone
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
up till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
reminds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the sacrifices their ancestors have done to give them freedom such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Qaid-e-Azam
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was the founder of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Pakistan and
he will
be remembered
forever in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hisotry
books for his devotion towards his nation.

On the other hand
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wants to emphasize on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
Possible spelling mistake. 'realises' is British English.
realises
the importance of these fields. I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that these are the courses where students can learn and apply to bring huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our surroundings.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality X-Ray machines have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
doctors diagnose diseases which were unknown for long time. Yes, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
books can mention the inventions made by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
student become the inventors. Our future lies
mostly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology's research as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
diseases and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more convenient by inventing new machines.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than others.

To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hisotry
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
persumed
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for its valuable information about past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
too as they are bringing huge difference in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life. Looking at their importance, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more time in schools.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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