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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important that History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.47

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important that History. v. 47
The education in schools has taken the important role in social. There are some arguments that history subject is the most important, whereas some people realize of the science and technology. In my view, every student should learn both of them because there are both valid points which I will explain in this essay. On the one hand, knowing history is valuable for people to know the civilization. Firstly, learning from previous major events can be the lessons for new generations. Secondly, it is the symbol of nationalism and dignity. Finally, history can connect between the past and the present such as culture, language, tradition and so on. Thus, we can learn technology and science from the past and continue making it better in the future. On the other hand, It can be seen that, nowadays, we live in the digital and innovation era. Science and technology has taken the important part of the world revolution. Therefore, studying in this major is the key to remaining on cutting-edge machinery. For example, a phone has been developed from landline to smartphone, a computer has been emerged to the laptop which is thinner and lighter. However, studying this should learn base from the past which can inspire to improve the better experiments and running the world forward to the future. In conclusion, there are significant points to study history in schools, especially the connecting between the past and the present. Same as the importance of science and technology subject which can move the world forward to be the greater world.
The education in schools has taken the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in social. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
subject is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
realize of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. In my view, every student should learn both of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are both valid points which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in this essay.

On the one hand, knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is valuable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to know the civilization.
Firstly
, learning from previous major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can be the lessons for new generations.
Secondly
, it is the symbol of nationalism and dignity.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
can connect between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and the present such as culture, language, tradition and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Thus
, we can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and continue making it better in the future.

On the other hand
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, nowadays, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the digital and innovation era.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has taken the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
revolution.
Therefore
, studying in this major is the key to remaining on cutting-edge machinery.
For example
, a phone has
been developed
from landline to smartphone, a computer has
been emerged
to the laptop which is thinner and lighter.
However
, studying this should learn base from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
which can inspire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the better experiments and running the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
forward to the future.

In conclusion
, there are significant points to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in schools,
especially
the connecting between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and the present. Same as the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
subject which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
forward to be the greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important that History. v. 47

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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