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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.41

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 41
History continues to be controversial in schools, for some people argue that nowadays, the youth needs to pay more attention to the Science and Technology lessons. There are strong views on both sides, which I will discuss now. On the one hand, History becomes an essential subject due to its implications. For example, encouraging students to study it is an effective way to preserve a nation’s culture. History reviews not only the historical events, but also the causes and results of them in the past like how their country fought against invaders to secure freedom and the crises that the nation went through. Therefore, the young generation can understand specifically what their ancestors faced and sacrificed for them to have a peaceful life right now, so they will appreciate what they have today. Moreover, learning History is able to help youngsters answer numerous questions about life such as how ancient people could survive through many disasters in the past without any support of high-tech technology and how magnificent construction including pyramids were built. In other words, studying this subject is a chance for students to widen their knowledge about the world. Turning to the latter argument, some individuals highlight that Science and Technology lessons should be focused on more. For one thing, because of the quick development of the world, students need to keep up with it so that they can know how machines were created and discoveries that make their life easier. To illustrate, thanks to science, scientists have found new medicine to cure diseases like malaria or smallpox. Additionally, these days, every part of the society from education to entertainment is being assisted by technology, including projectors, cameras, computers and so on. Hence, knowing clearly about this field can offer lots of better job opportunities for the young since they have an understanding of how these tools work to use properly. The other reason is that this is a chance for pupils to nurture their talent in science and technology as in the future, they might want to get involved in these majors to invent new things and make scientific breakthroughs to contribute to the advancement of the world. To sum up, every subject has its own benefits, so children should be given a well-balanced education among these lessons at school to develop their mind completely.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
continues to be controversial in schools, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that nowadays, the youth needs to pay more attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
lessons. There are strong views on both sides, which I will discuss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
becomes an essential subject due to its implications.
For example
, encouraging students to study it is an effective way to preserve a nation’s culture.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
reviews not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the causes and results of them in the past like how their country fought against invaders to secure freedom and the crises that the nation went through.
Therefore
, the young generation can understand
specifically
what their ancestors faced and sacrificed for them to have a peaceful life right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will appreciate what they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Moreover
, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
youngsters answer numerous questions about life such as how ancient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could survive through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disasters in the past without any support of high-tech
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and how magnificent construction including pyramids
were built
.
In other words
, studying this subject is a chance for students to widen their knowledge about the world.

Turning to the latter argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals highlight that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
lessons should
be focused
on more. For one thing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the quick development of the world, students need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can know how machines
were created
and discoveries that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life easier. To illustrate, thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, scientists have found new medicine to cure diseases like malaria or smallpox.
Additionally
, these days, every part of the society from education to entertainment is
being assisted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, including projectors, cameras, computers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Hence
, knowing
clearly
about this field can offer lots of better job opportunities for the young since they have an understanding of how these tools work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
properly
. The other reason is that this is a chance for pupils to nurture their talent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as in the future, they might want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in these majors to invent new things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
scientific breakthroughs to contribute to the advancement of the world.

To sum up, every subject has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
children should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a well-balanced education among these lessons at school to develop their mind completely.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 41

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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