Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.37

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 37
Humans have achieved numerous milestones throughout their revolutionary process. Therefore, some regard history as an important subject along with others in the curriculum to remark our kind's achievements and how they accomplished it. While the other believe that this subject is anachronistic and irrelevant compared to modern courses. My essay will analyse both of the perspectives and demonstrate my own view at the end of the writing. It is no doubt that the subjects taught at schools such as Science and Technology bring us practical knowledge to improve our lives. For instance, the medical industry has continually prevented deadly diseases from breaking out, while countries like China, has earned billions of dollars every year with their modern equipments applied to production. Additionally, the development of technology has brought the humanity to the next level of the revolution, wherein, when compared to the past, such transportation and communication were rather sluggish than that of today's. However, without history, such subjects like the two mentioned would not be as developed as they are now. History informs us about how our ancestors created one or other inventions. Such information has laid a solid foundation for our today's development. For example, antibiotics, which were discovered around the 1700s on accident, however, to improve, the nowadays scientists need to conduct several researches to improve their effects on humans. In conclusion, both history and present-day subjects can co-exist with each other. Although history is rather boring at school classes, it provides the necessary details for us to keep moving forward.
Humans have achieved numerous milestones throughout their revolutionary process.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
along with others in the curriculum to remark our kind's achievements and how they accomplished it. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is anachronistic and irrelevant compared to modern courses. My essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both of the perspectives and demonstrate my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the writing.

It is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
taught at schools such as Science and Technology bring us practical knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
, the medical industry has
continually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
deadly diseases from breaking out, while countries like China, has earned billions of dollars every year with their modern equipments applied to production.
Additionally
, the development of technology has brought the humanity to the
next
level of the revolution, wherein, when compared to the past, such transportation and communication were
rather
sluggish than that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's.

However
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like the two mentioned would not be as developed as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
informs us about how our ancestors created one or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
inventions. Such information has laid a solid foundation for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's development.
For example
, antibiotics, which
were discovered
around the 1700s on accident,
however
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, the nowadays scientists need to conduct several researches to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their effects on humans.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and present-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can co-exist with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
rather
boring at school classes, it provides the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
moving forward.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 37

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts