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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people thank that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.35

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people thank that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 35
People have different views about whether History or Science & Technology is the most important school subjects in today’s world. In my opinion, although History is important to students, spending more time on Science & Technology has more benefits. On the one hand, there are two reasons why History is important. Firstly, Students can know themselves better by learning this subject. This means they can read the history book about their own family and about how their ancestors migrated. In this way, their curiosity can be fulfilled and find some surprise like finding an unknown relevant. Secondly, those who learn the world history well can know the stories and the positions of the historical attractions globally. In this way, it is easy for them to form a travel plan which can content the whole family. For example, the route of a driving trip through Europe and visit the old buildings there. On the other hand, I would argue that learning Science & Technology have more benefits. There is an increasingly reliance on Science & Technology in the university education. This means if the students learn more about these subjects, they can get a good score relatively easier in the university. For example, a collage undergraduate major in Computer Science can spend less time on some courses if they learnt more about Science & Technology before. In addition, learn those subjects can make everyday life more convenient. This is because the manipulating and repairing of nearly every household appliances such as microwave oven and TV needs the knowledge of Science & Technology. If they break, these can be very useful. In conclusion, I admit the importance of the History subject, but I believe that the Science & Technology subjects are more important.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. In my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to students, spending more time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has more benefits.

On the one hand, there are two reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
Firstly
, Students can know themselves better by learning this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. This means they can read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
book about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family and about how their ancestors migrated. In this way, their curiosity can
be fulfilled
and find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "surprises"?
surprise
like finding an unknown relevant.
Secondly
, those who learn the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
well can know the stories and the positions of the historical attractions globally. In this way, it is easy for them to form a travel plan which can content the whole family.
For example
, the route of a driving trip through Europe and visit the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings there.

On the other hand
, I would argue that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
have more benefits. There is an
You used an adverb ('increasingly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('reliance') instead of another adjective.
increasingly reliance
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
in the university education. This means if the students learn more about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
score
relatively
easier in the university.
For example
, a collage undergraduate major in Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
can spend less time on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses if they
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In addition
, learn those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
everyday life more convenient. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the manipulating and repairing of
nearly
every household appliances such as microwave oven and TV needs the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
. If they break, these can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful.

In conclusion
, I admit the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people thank that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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