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Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are important than history. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion. v.34

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are important than history. v. 34
Academic subjects have a major impact on the student life. It is widely believed that history is a crucial subject in schools as it aids us in understanding different cultures, whereas some people opine that science and technology are the subjects which must be given higher preference because of the technological advancements. This essay discusses both the views before drawing concrete decisions. On the one hand, historical events taken place in the ancient times can help us understand our roots. Furthermore, it will give us a clear knowledge about distinct cultures and traditions across the world. In addition to this, we can understand the various practices followed by the ancient residents, which can prove to be effective in the recent times. For example, the students of the "University of Wales" who have chosen history as their main field have carried out developments in the agricultural practices, according to the Harappan culture's farming methods and it has given magnificent results. On the other hand, some learner's may find history to be a boring subject as it is theoretical when compared to science. As science and technology is based on practical experiments, most of the students find it intriguing. Due to this, they can provide better results in studies. Also, due to the growing population, the insatiable need for technological development also increases. If the students have profound knowledge in this field, it will help them in earning more as well as contributing to the society. To illustrate this, a research conducted by "Science now" magazine depicts that 80% of the students, who selected science as their major got placed in companies with good salaries which provided them with innovative work. In conclusion, history fascinates people in learning different cultures and practices followed in the past. However, it can be a boring subject. From my perspective, science and technology should be considered as the major subject because of the improvements it brings and the innovation it has.
Academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
have a major impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
life. It is
widely
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in schools as it aids us in understanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
higher preference
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the technological advancements. This essay discusses both the views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing concrete decisions.

On the one hand, historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
taken place in the ancient times can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us understand our roots.
Furthermore
, it will give us a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
knowledge about distinct cultures and traditions across the world.
In addition
to this, we can understand the various practices followed by the ancient residents, which can prove to be effective in the recent times.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
University of Wales
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
who have chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
as their main field have carried out developments in the agricultural practices, according to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harappan
culture's farming methods and it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
magnificent results.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
learner's may find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
to be a boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
as it is theoretical when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology
is based
on practical experiments, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
find it intriguing. Due to this, they can provide better results in studies.
Also
, due to the growing population, the insatiable need for technological development
also
increases. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have profound knowledge in this field, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in earning more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well as contributing to the society. To illustrate this,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted by
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
magazine depicts that 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
as their major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
placed in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salaries which provided them with innovative work.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
fascinates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and practices followed in the past.
However
, it can be a boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. From my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology should
be considered
as the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the improvements it brings and the innovation it has.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are important than history. v. 34

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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