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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. v.30

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 30
Nowadays, people only catch up with the modern but gradually forget the heroic history of the country. Some people think that history should be added to one of the important subjects in the curriculum, but others do not think so, they say that the young generation should focus on Science and Technology. From my perspective, I think History and Science and Technology are equally essential. On the one hand, History is a popular subject in Vietnam education as it reminds us of the tenacious struggle of the Vietnamese people. History helps us know about fierce wars, evolutions, historical events, . . . Studying history is important because it allows us to understand our past, which in turn allows us to understand our present. Hence, we need to look back on the past and try to create a better future. On the other hand, life is becoming more and more modern, so Science and Technology also develop to meet the needs of the people. With the development of technology, our life becomes much more modern and convenient, as there are many modern devices that appear like smartphone, tablets, laptop, projectors, . . . I suppose that we can use many technology devices in studying and teaching. For instance, History for everyone is a boring subject, not interesting as other subjects. But we can use the projector in teaching. It makes students become interested in this subject and makes the class more exciting. In conclusion, both History and Science have their own important roles. Students should learn these subjects to broaden their minds and of course, they can contribute their knowledge in national development.
Nowadays,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
catch up with the
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modern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
gradually
forget the heroic
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history
of the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they say that the young generation should focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
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Technology
are
equally
essential.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is a popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in Vietnam education as it reminds us of the tenacious struggle of the Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us know about fierce wars, evolutions, historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Studying
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history
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to understand our past, which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to understand our present.
Hence
, we need to look back on the past and try to create a better future.

On the other hand
, life is becoming more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
also
develop to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. With the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, our life becomes much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
and convenient, as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
devices that appear like smartphone, tablets, laptop, projectors
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
I suppose that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
devices in studying and teaching.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
for everyone is a boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, not interesting as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the projector in teaching. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
students become interested in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
more exciting.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles. Students should learn these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to broaden their minds and
of course
, they can contribute their knowledge in national development.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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