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Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.29

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 29
These days the curriculum of schools is one of the controversial issues. While it is often said that students should study history in their schools, others feel that there are more important lessons such as technology and science in comparison with the history that students should pass. In this essay, I will examine both sides of this argument and provide my opinion. On the one hand, there a number of reasons why some people think that history is a compulsory lesson for pupils. First of all, studying history raises student's awareness about their ancestors, their culture, events which happened in the past, difficulties that people faced with and their real-life story in particular in critical situations such as wars in previous years. This knowledge can prevent people from repeating mistakes that were made in the past. For example, many countries learned from the history of China that one of the most important ways which protect people from getting some diseases such as the Corona Virus is social distancing according to the fact that China could conquer this virus. On the other hand, many people believe that teaching technology and science is more urgent compared with history. This is mainly because memorizing dates, years of events, and names waste the student's time and energy which is not useful for their future. Today's students should spend most of their time on technology that is growing fast and life would be hard without adaptation with technological development. In addition, history cannot help pupils to overcome their today's difficulties. In conclusion, although history is important for students, I am of the opinion that learning science and technology is more useful than history.
These days the curriculum of schools is one of the controversial issues. While it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in their schools, others feel that there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lessons such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and science
in comparison
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should pass. In this essay, I will examine both sides of this argument and provide my opinion.

On the one hand, there a number of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a compulsory lesson for pupils.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
raises student's awareness about their ancestors, their culture,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which happened in the past, difficulties that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
faced with and their real-life story
in particular
in critical situations such as wars in previous years. This knowledge can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from repeating mistakes that
were made
in the past.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries learned from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of China that one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ways which protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases such as the
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona Virus
is social distancing according to the fact that China could conquer this virus.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and science is more urgent compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
memorizing dates, years of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, and names waste the student's time and energy which is not useful for their future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should spend most of their time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that is
growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and life would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
without adaptation with technological development.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
pupils to overcome their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's difficulties.

In conclusion
, although
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history
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, I am of the opinion that learning science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is more useful than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 29

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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