Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.28

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 28
Nowadays, the education systems all over the world are influenced by the developments in science and technologies when, the policy makers tend to change the subjects in order to make students familiar with these topics. Whereas, some others believe that history must be the most important lesson of the schools. Personally, I believe in the technology rather than the past. In this essay both views will be discussed. On one side, a group of people believe that history plays a significant role in our future because, same events happen every period of time. They mean that, if a recession or inflation occurred in a country a century ago, it will happen again in the near future and when we know the actions were done by governments at the time, so we can solve the problems in future. Therefore, although this belief can be correct for some situation also, can teach us a lot, but obviously it cannot apply in every problem today which should be solved by new decisions. On the other side, some others believe that science and technology make our future, which also can solve our problems. The way a country can develop sustainability goes through novel types of science, since they can absorb money to every society. For example, the difference between history and technology can be seen at a cell phone company which insisted on its old-fashioned products and now it is bankrupted which name is Nokia. Due to this, pupils should learn about different subjects that can help their further scientific jobs. To summarize, although every citizen of a country should know about his or her historical events and people for the basic knowledge, but in future everybody need to operate with technological gadgets which will control everything. I wrote these reasons to say that, schools should concentrate on the future, which will be built by knowledge and technology.
Nowadays, the education systems all over the world
are influenced
by the developments in science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
when, the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy makers
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the subjects in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
students familiar with these topics.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lesson of the schools.
Personally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
rather
than the past. In this essay both views will
be discussed
.

On one side, a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that history plays a significant role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
happen every period of time. They mean that, if a recession or inflation occurred in a country a century ago, it will happen again in the near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and when we know the actions
were done
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
at the time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can solve the problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Therefore
, although this belief can be correct for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situation
also
, can teach us a lot,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
obviously
it cannot apply in every problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
which should
be solved
by new decisions.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, which
also
can solve our problems. The way a country can develop sustainability goes through novel types of science, since they can absorb money to every society.
For example
, the difference between history and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
at a cell phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which insisted on its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned products and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it
is bankrupted
which name is Nokia. Due to this, pupils should learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
further
scientific jobs.

To summarize
, although every citizen of a country should know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for the basic knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
everybody need to operate with technological gadgets which will control everything. I wrote these reasons to say that, schools should concentrate on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, which will
be built
by knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts