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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people thinks that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.27

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people thinks that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 27
Due to the increase in skill requirements many companies, nowadays, children tend to leave their education schools and prefer to choose an institution that provides practical skills. This essay will discuss 2 main preparations that schools can do to prepare their students in the work field. To start with, schools need to include both theory and practical modules within their education system. The reason being is because of the numerous benefits that students will achieve prior entering the workplace such as knowledge, networking and experience. For instance, TAFE institution in Australia, only allow 6months of academic study and the other 6months for internship. By doing so, more than 85% TAFE pupils have a full-time job that relates to their study before they graduate. Hence, both theory and practice skills are significant for schools to prepare their pupils in the world of work. Furthermore, it is also fundamental for institutions to encourage their students to work in the field that they fully passionate. According to 'The Economist', in 2019, almost 90% employees are currently working in the field that they do not like. Although all of these employees regretted their choice, they are unable to resign due to their age and inexperience. Therefore, schools need to persuade their students to work in the place that they mostly like, in order to prevent regrettable decision in the future. In conclusion, institutions should provide an environment that will provide important skills for their pupils in the workplace. This can be done by allowing both theory and practical modules into the education standard, and encourage them to select a major that they have passion for.
Due to the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
requirements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, nowadays, children tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and prefer to choose an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
institution
that provides practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. This essay will discuss 2 main preparations that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can do to prepare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the work field.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
need to include both theory and practical modules within their education system. The reason being is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the numerous benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will achieve prior entering the workplace such as knowledge, networking and experience.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
TAFE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
institution
in Australia,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
6months of academic study and the other 6months for internship. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, more than 85%
Possible spelling mistake found.
TAFE
pupils have a full-time job that relates to their study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they graduate.
Hence
, both theory and practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to prepare their pupils in the world of work.

Furthermore
, it is
also
fundamental for institutions to encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to work in the field that they
fully
passionate. According to 'The Economist', in 2019, almost 90% employees are
currently
working in the field that they do not like. Although all of these employees regretted their choice, they are unable to resign due to their age and inexperience.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
need to persuade their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to work in the place that they
mostly
like, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
regrettable decision in the future.

In conclusion
, institutions should provide an environment that will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for their pupils in the workplace. This can
be done
by allowing both theory and practical modules into the education standard, and encourage them to select a major that they have passion for.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people thinks that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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