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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.26

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 26
Students study a lot of subjects in the school. History, Geography, Science, Maths and Language subjects. All these are core subjects in the school. Some people feel that History is the most important subject. However, some believe that in today's world, Science and Technology are more important than History. History tells us about what has already happened in this world. It tells us about the different wars being fought, civilizations and cultures that exist. Students come to know about the lives of different personalities. Also, they come to know about their ancestors, their way of living and their hardships they had been through. And as they come to know about them, their behaviour can be adapted by them. We can say that historical personalities can be a role model for some of the people. For example, Mahatma Gandhi's way of simple living and high thinking can be adopted by many people in their day to day lives. So basically History helps in personality development of students. On the other hand, Science and Technology also plays an important part in the student's development. In today's life, Science has made so much advancement that the students have to be aware of the latest trends. New inventions in Science and Technology has made our life very convenient. For example, today we have mobile apps for almost any requirement. Need to transfer money, no need to go to the bank physically, just directly transfer through the mobile app. Moreover, human beings have reached the Moon due to advancement in the astronomical science. In my opinion, Science and Technology is more important than History. History tells us about the past and Science tells us about the future. Whatever has happened in the past, we cannot change. But with Science and Technology, the future can definitely be changed and we can make the world a happy place to live in. In conclusion, History is important for student's intellect and personality development, whereas science is important for a better and secure future.
Students study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
, Geography,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
and Language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. All these are core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than History.

History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tells
us about what has already happened in this world. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tells
us about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
wars
being fought
, civilizations and cultures that exist. Students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personalities.
Also
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about their ancestors, their way of living and their hardships they had been through. And as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about them, their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can
be adapted
by them. We can say that historical personalities can be a role model for
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, Mahatma Gandhi's way of simple living and high thinking can
be adopted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
basically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
development of students.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
also
plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
part in the student's development. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much advancement that the students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware of the latest trends. New inventions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has made our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we have mobile apps for almost any requirement. Need to transfer money, no need to go to the bank
physically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
directly
transfer through the mobile app.
Moreover
, human beings have reached the Moon due to advancement in the astronomical science.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tells
us about the past and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tells
us about the future. Whatever has happened in the past, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
, the future can definitely be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
changed and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a happy place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for student's intellect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
development, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for a better and secure future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 26

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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