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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.22

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than History. v. 22
Many people believe that History is the most important school subject. Meanwhile, other people think that it is more significant to study science and technology than study history due to the development of today’s world. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both views in terms of the importance to study these subjects. It is true that history identifies our present and future. It is an essential subject that it is not only learning about our past, but also learning about different cultures and ethnicities all over the world. History is a mandatory course that all students in high school need to take until grade 12 in Canada. In addition, this subject is significant for the students who want to become a Social Studies teacher or a History teacher, thus they can major in subjects such as International Studies which history from different countries courses are the main courses. In the same way, I also think science and technology are important subjects because it is critical to learn about them while we are living in a modern world. For example, there is a corona virus outbreak recently in Wuhan, China. It causes thousands of deaths in the country. Furthermore, this virus has been spreading worldwide. As a result, we need a vaccine to control and stop this virus from killing people. Therefore, many doctors, biologists and scientists need the involvement of science and technology to help with the treatment of the infected people as well as to control the virus. To conclude, studying history or studying science and technology are equally important for our future in the modern world. In my personal view, we should know the basic skills of both these subjects. Therefore, it is important to study both history and science and technology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. Meanwhile, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is more significant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
due to the development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both views in terms of the importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
these subjects.

It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
identifies our present and future. It is an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learning about our past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
learning about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and ethnicities all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is a mandatory course that all students in high school need to take until grade 12 in Canada.
In addition
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is significant for the students who want to become a Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studies
teacher or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
teacher,
thus
they can major in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studies
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries courses are the main courses.

In the same way
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is critical to learn about them while we are living in a modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For example
, there is a
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
outbreak recently in Wuhan, China. It causes thousands of deaths in the country.
Furthermore
, this virus has been spreading worldwide.
As a result
, we need a vaccine to control and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this virus from killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors, biologists and scientists need the involvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with the treatment of the infected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as to control the virus.

To conclude
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
or studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for our future in the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In my personal view, we should know the basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of both these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Therefore
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than History. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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