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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and your opinion. v.19

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. v. 19
It is believed by some people that History is a vital part of the school’s curriculum. However, other people disagree and think subjects such as Science and Technology are more fundamental than History. I completely agree with the latter view since these two courses provide relevant and up-to-date qualifications for children. Those who advocate History should be given more priority would argue that it is important for children to know about their historical and cultural values. Through reading History in the school curriculum they are not only able to learn about their past heroes but also learn about their country’s historical events that have significant importance. In contrast, if schools did not provide much importance to this subject, students would not be able to recognize their leaders' and nation's prominent personalities. Therefore, traditionalists often forced schools to treat History as one of the necessary components of the curriculum. However, other people suggest courses which are relevant to the modern era are more vital for children to learn as compared with History and I completely support their view. A Subject like History only gives information and learning about past events and no longer be relevant to this contemporary environment, where you need innovative ideas, creative skills, and expertise in the field of information technology. All these learnings are the common features of Science and Technologies subjects. For example, if you want to be a doctor, you will definitely be benefitted more from biology and other sciences instead of History. In conclusion, while some people give more importance to History as a school subject, others disagree and ascertain that Science and Technology have more benefits for children than history. I opine that considering the global needs and relevancy History as a part of the schools' curriculum is less important than Science and Technology.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is a vital part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
curriculum.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are more fundamental than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view since these two courses provide relevant and up-to-date qualifications for children.

Those who advocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more priority would argue that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for children to know about their historical and cultural values. Through reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
able to learn about their past heroes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
learn about their country’s historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that have significant importance.
In contrast
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
did not provide much importance to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, students would not be able to recognize their leaders' and nation's prominent personalities.
Therefore
, traditionalists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
as one of the necessary components of the curriculum.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest courses which are relevant to the modern era are more vital for children to learn as compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
and I completely support their view. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subject
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives information and learning about past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and no longer be relevant to this contemporary environment, where you need innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and expertise in the field of information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. All these learnings are the common features of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technologies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
For example
, if you want to be a doctor, you will definitely be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
more from biology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
instead
of History.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give more importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, others disagree and ascertain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
have more benefits for children than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. I opine that considering the global needs and relevancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
as a part of the schools' curriculum is less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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