Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.17

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 17
In this day and age, students in school study an array of subjects like history, science, technology and so on. The debatable topic is that, which subject is of utmost importance in today’s world. In my opinion, having expertise in fields like science and technology ought to be the most beneficial for pupils. On one hand, it is believed, that in comparison to other subjects, history is the most significant school subject. With history as a school subject, students can be made aware, not only of the hardships that our ancestors went through but also of the evolution of mankind. History plays an important role in one’s life, as one can learn a lot from the past experiences, consequently helping students in not repeating the same mistakes time and again. To illustrate, the past world wars were the most devastating life incidents. Children need to be educated about these crucial situations, so that they will be well aware of the consequences and hopefully avoid any such situations in the future. However, other skills and medium of communications can be used for the same, rather than history as a school subject. On the other hand, few people think that, our future can be made better only with the help of science and technology. Hence, these subjects should be considered as a must in the school. We still would have been living like stone age people, had there not been science. Also, with technology by our side, we will witness heart warming experiences in our coming future. For instance, something that seemed impossible a few decades ago, is now available at our finger tips. Communication is one of the best example of advancements in technology. In earlier days, one required numerous days to convey a message to someone, whereas people are now just a phone call away. Hence, I certainly agree, that science and technology are the most important subjects to be studied in school. In conclusion, although people may vary in their opinions, I concur that past is gone and we cannot improvise it by any chance and thus, since an early age we need to focus on our future. It is certainly clear from the above illustrations, that science and technology ought to be the most important school subjects rather than history.
In this day and age, students in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
study an array of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. The debatable topic is that, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is of utmost importance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. In my opinion, having expertise in fields like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
ought to be the most beneficial for pupils.

On one hand, it
is believed
, that
in comparison
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, students can
be made
aware, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
of the hardships that our ancestors went through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
of the evolution of mankind.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in one’s life, as one can learn a lot from the
Consider using "experiences".
past experiences
,
consequently
helping students in not repeating the same mistakes time and again. To illustrate, the past world wars were the most devastating life incidents. Children need to
be educated
about these crucial situations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will be well aware of the consequences and
hopefully
avoid any such situations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
However
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and medium of communications can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the same,
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subject.

On the other hand
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
can
be made
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Hence
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be considered
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. We
still
would have been living like
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
stone age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, had there not been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
Also
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
by our side, we will witness
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
heart warming
experiences in our coming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
For instance
, something that seemed impossible a few decades ago, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
available at our finger tips. Communication is one of the best example of advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. In earlier days, one required numerous days to convey a message to someone, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a phone call away.
Hence
, I
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to
be studied
in school.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I concur that past is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
gone and
we cannot improvise it by any chance and
thus
, since an early age we need to focus on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. It is
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the above illustrations, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
ought to be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts