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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.15

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 15
It is argued by a few people that History contribution is more, while the other thinks that in current generation Science and Technology should be given high priority. This essay agrees that science should be given more importance than history. This essay firstly, discuss about the benefits of history, which can help student's to learn about the culture and other historical moments. Secondly, it will discuss about how in today's world Countries developing their space mission and launching their satellites using science. Firstly, History helps student's learning about culture and other historical moments like World wars and brave kings who ruled. It also explains the various monuments built in the past, it helps to symbolise the courage, love and art. It plays an important role to pass information from one to other generations. For example, In the India It would be difficult to let people understand about their freedom fighters and their sacrifice for the country without the help of this particular subject. Secondly, Science and technology advancements helped to explore the Mars, the Moon and Black hole theory. Many scientific inventions are patented in recent years. In recent years many private sectors like SpaceX started their own space aim programs and aimed to reach the Moon in 2025, it was founded by Elon Musk. For Example, The NASA, US space mission agents found the first picture of black hole theory, which helped scientist to prove Newton's law not applicable. To conclude, Science and technology growth are increasing rapidly and its importance is a prime concern in today's generation. Also, many missiles have been launched successfully in recent years, which was not possible without this emerging technology.
It
is argued
by a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
contribution is more, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
high priority. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more importance than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. This essay
firstly
,
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
student's to learn about the culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
historical moments.
Secondly
, it will
Did you mean simply "discuss how"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about how
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world Countries developing their space mission and launching their satellites using science.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
student's learning about culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
historical moments like World wars and brave kings who ruled. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the various monuments built in the past, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'symbolise' is British English.
symbolise
the courage,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and art. It plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to pass information from one to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
generations.
For example
, In the India It would be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
understand about their freedom fighters and their sacrifice for the country without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of this particular subject.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advancements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to explore the Mars, the Moon and Black hole theory.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientific inventions
are patented
in recent years. In recent years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
private sectors like SpaceX
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
space aim programs and aimed to reach the Moon in 2025, it
was founded
by Elon Musk.
For Example
, The NASA, US space mission agents found the
first
picture of black hole theory, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
scientist to prove Newton's law not applicable.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
growth are increasing
rapidly
and its importance is a prime concern in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
missiles have
been launched
successfully
in recent years, which was not possible without this emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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