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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion. v.14

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 14
Technology has been flourishing by leaps and bounds and it provides us new avenues. A fair amount of a person believes that history is a one of the most indispensable subject in academy, but on the other hand, there are some people who thought that Science and Technology are more crucial than the history. It needs proper surveillance before taking any decisions. So, the further I am going to discuss both the views. To embark on, as nowadays most of the people say that history should be replaced with other susceptible like a science, mathematics, computer and many other. The history is a one of the most highly demanded liable in itself. If this accountancy is replaced from the academy and then the child will cannot lapse about the ancestors and other historical wars. In the past the children come to know about the struggles of our protestors. The adolescence will also come familiar with historical monuments which are built in a world and they go there to see it and also they come to know about the struggles of our ancestors. To illustrate, nowadays in past curriculum the past of Jallianwala Bagh was mentioned and the children's who you want to know more about it there will go there to see it. Secondly The Other subjects which are considered the most important subjects in now a days, which are related to the Science and Technology are also imported itself for the career of the children's. The computer is now one of the exposed in the schools and also need in every field. As science and the other subjects are also important for the career of the children's as a they have to show their interest, in which their field have and do a job in the future To conclude the past and other major subjects are crucial in itself as a provider different knowledge to the children. In my opinion past and Science technological inferior is both important in their place so, according to me all the subjects should be taught in the university. If these all the accounts will be taught at the institute then the children will become omniscient.
Technology has been flourishing by leaps and bounds and it provides us new avenues. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount of a person believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a one of the most indispensable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in academy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and Technology are more crucial than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. It needs proper surveillance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking any decisions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
further
I am going to discuss both the views.

To embark on, as nowadays most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
should
be replaced
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
susceptible like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, mathematics, computer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possibly, a noun is missing after 'other'. Or do you mean "others"?
other
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a one of the most
highly
demanded liable in itself. If this accountancy
is replaced
from the academy and then the child will cannot lapse about the ancestors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
historical wars. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
the children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the struggles of our protestors. The adolescence will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
familiar with historical monuments which
are built
in a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they go there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it and
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the struggles of our ancestors. To illustrate, nowadays in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
curriculum the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jallianwala
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bagh
was mentioned
and the children's who you want to know more about it there will go there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it.

Secondly
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which
are considered
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
, which
are related
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and Technology are
also
imported itself for the career of the children's. The computer is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
one of the exposed in the schools and
also
need in every field. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the career of the children's as
Possible typo. Did you mean "a" or "they"?
a they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their interest, in which their field have and do a job in the future

To conclude
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are crucial in itself as a provider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
knowledge to the children. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
technological inferior is both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in their place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, according to me all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be taught
in the university. If these all the accounts will
be taught
at the institute then the children will become omniscient.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 14

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
362 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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