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some people say history is one of the most important school subject other people think that, in todays world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. discuss both the views and give your own opinion. v.1

some people say history is one of the most important school subject other people think that, in todays world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 1
It is necessary for each and every individual to realize the value of education. Some echelons of society believe that the past subject is very mandatory for the adolescents, but others opine that nowadays subjects such as discipline and robotics have taken much priority rather than past. This essay will delve into both views before embarking on my own opinion. When it comes to why individuals think that antiquity subject is available in school curriculum. The prime view is that, at the present day mortals are attracted by the advancement of technology. And they also forget their traditions and customs. But with the help of past syllabus juveniles can boost up their knowledge. They know about their ancestors, traditions, cultures, weapons as well as living standard of past era masses. For example, a national museum in Delhi is located for the multitudes where they can learn their past past like as wars, utensils. In this museum all the things about past life are available. On the flip side, why the information and mechanics subjects are more significant than past. First and foremost point is that, with the help of education robots are made. Mechanical person is very beneficial in the extreme conditions where humans are helpless. Artificial machines not only work on difficult tasks, but also do work in household chores such as cleaning, mopping and so on. For instance, in tsunami where humans cannot give help. At those stages bionic people do work with the help of folks. In spite of this, folks are fully aware about the weather situations. But this information can take with the cooperation of technique and technology. If human beings use more and more machinery then they will save their energy and age. In conclusion, once again, I would like to reiterate that skill and automation academics are very essential for the overall development of individuals. According to me multitudes had better prepared technique subjects as compared to the past. The sooner the people understand the pros of technology, it is better for them.
It is necessary for each and every individual to realize the value of education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
echelons of society believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
mandatory for the adolescents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others opine that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as discipline and robotics have taken much priority
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. This essay will delve into both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
embarking on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to why individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that antiquity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is available in school curriculum. The prime view is that, at the present day mortals
are attracted
by the advancement of technology. And they
also
forget their traditions and customs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
syllabus juveniles can boost up their knowledge. They know about their ancestors, traditions, cultures, weapons
as well
as living standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
era masses.
For example
, a national museum in Delhi
is located
for the multitudes where they can learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
like as wars, utensils. In this museum all the things about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
life are available.

On the flip side, why the information and mechanics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are more significant than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
First
and foremost point is that, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of education robots
are made
. Mechanical person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial in the extreme conditions where humans are helpless. Artificial machines not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
work on difficult tasks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
do work in household chores such as cleaning, mopping and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
, in tsunami where humans cannot give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. At those stages bionic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do work with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of folks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, folks are
fully
aware about the weather situations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this information can take with the cooperation of technique and technology. If human beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more and more machinery
Did you mean "than"?
then
they will save their energy and age.

In conclusion
, once again, I would like to reiterate that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and automation academics are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for the
overall
development of individuals.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
multitudes had better prepared technique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. The sooner the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
understand the pros of technology, it is better for them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay some people say history is one of the most important school subject other people think that, in todays world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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