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Some people say history is one of the important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Some people say history is one of the important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 2
Nowadays people believe that History is the most important subject in primary education and on the other hand, some feel that Science and Technology is much more important. There are many reasons for this because by Science and Technology we can do anything and go anywhere. However, in my opinion, I agree that in present scenario Science and Technology plays a crucial role. This essay will provide evidence in support of this position. Firstly, it must be recognised that currently because of growth in technology, we can do things easily. This is because of the development of internet. For example, we can book flight or movie tickets online, pay electricity bills e. t. c. Additionally, we can learn many new things and can get in touch with different people worldwide by applications like Google, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube. Moreover, by science, we can diagnose different diseased conditions and their treatment procedures such as HIV-AIDS, Cancer so on. Secondly, social studies play an important role in knowing about great individuals. This is because of their knowledge and fighting abilities. For instance, Mahatma Gandhi, Subashchandra Bose, Mother Teresa, who fought for getting freedom to India without expecting anything from the society. Furthermore, by studying history in school children can learn moral values, disciples to make themselves as a better individual in society. Of course, social studies play a major role, but by learning digital technology in school, one can gain more knowledge which helps them both in career wise as well as individually. In conclusion, I believe that acquiring knowledge in Science and Technology has many benefits in spite of learning History such as learning new things, inventing instruments, designing latest technologies e. t. c.
Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that History is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subject in primary education and
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
we can do anything and go anywhere.
However
, in my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that in present scenario
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
plays a crucial role. This essay will provide evidence in support of this position.

Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
that
currently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, we can do things
easily
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of internet.
For example
, we can book flight or movie tickets online, pay electricity bills e. t. c.
Additionally
, we can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
worldwide by applications like Google, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube.
Moreover
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, we can diagnose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseased conditions and their treatment procedures such as HIV-AIDS, Cancer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Secondly
, social studies play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in knowing about great individuals. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their knowledge and fighting abilities.
For instance
, Mahatma Gandhi,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Subashchandra
Bose, Mother Teresa, who fought for getting freedom to India without expecting anything from the society.
Furthermore
, by studying history in school children can learn moral values, disciples to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves as a better individual in society.
Of course
, social studies play a major role,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by learning digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in school, one can gain more knowledge which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them both in career wise
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
individually
.

In conclusion
, I believe that acquiring knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
learning History such as learning new things, inventing instruments, designing latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
e. t. c.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Some people say history is one of the important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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