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people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v.1

people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 1
Some people argue that it is beneficial to educate males and females in a gender-specific school, while others say that it is advantageous for young boys and girls to attend co-educational schools. Although by attending single-sex schools children will not get distracted by the opposite sex, I believe that attending mixed-schools will help children to interact with opposite sex confidently. On the hand, children who attend separate sex schools will not be attracted to the opposite sex. That is to say, when children enter the puberty stage, they are often sexually attracted to the opposite gender and tend to lose focus on their studies. As a result, they may not excel in academics and secure good grades. For instance, a recent survey by the Times of India revealed that 45% of parents prefer sending their children in the same-sex schools so that they are dedicated towards their studies and do not attract the attention of the opposite sex. However, I believe that such students fear to face the opposite sex in the real world. On the other hand, boys and girls attending mixed schools are more confident to communicate with the opposite gender. In other words, right from the early years when children communicate with the opposite sex, they are neither apprehensive nor anxious to share their thoughts or put forth their opinion with each other. This makes them fearless and open to any kind of communication with the opposite gender. To illustrate, recent research by The Times has revealed that children who attend mixed- schools are more interactive with the opposite gender as compared to children who attend same-sex schools. I believe this school of thought is preferable because students who receive co-education can respect and can work in harmony with the opposite gender. In conclusion, while educating children in individual sex schools has advantageous because the young ones will not be attracted by the opposite gender, I believe that males and females will benefit more by attending co-educational institutions as they can talk confidently with the opposite sex.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it is beneficial to educate males and females in a gender-specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, while others say that it is advantageous for young boys and girls to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
co-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Although by attending single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
, I
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believe
that attending mixed-schools will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
confidently
.

On the hand,
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will not
be attracted
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
.
That is
to say, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
enter the puberty stage, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
sexually
attracted to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
gender and tend to lose focus on their studies.
As a result
, they may not excel in academics and secure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades.
For instance
, a recent survey by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
revealed that 45% of parents prefer sending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the same-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
are dedicated
towards their studies and do not attract the attention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that such students fear to face the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
in the real world.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, boys and girls attending mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are more confident to communicate with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
gender. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, right from the early years when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
communicate with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
, they are neither apprehensive nor anxious to share their thoughts or put forth their opinion with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them fearless and open to any kind of communication with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
gender. To illustrate, recent research by The Times has revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
mixed-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are more interactive with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
gender as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
same-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. I
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believe
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is preferable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
receive co-education can respect and can work in harmony with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
gender.

In conclusion
, while educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has advantageous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the young ones will not
be attracted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
gender, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that males and females will benefit more by attending co-educational institutions as they can talk
confidently
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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