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Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do? v.5

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do? v. 5
Nowadays, global warming becomes a burning problem because of the some ways in which people damaging the environment. In this essay, I will discuss about my opinion, how governments and an individual folk deal with this problem. There are numerous remedies through which government should deal with this issue. Firstly, the authorities should make a proper law for preserving the environment like forest land should be reserved, so that nobody can use that land for establishing their industries and business. Secondly, stern actions should be taken against those industrialists who dumped their waste material into the rivers which affect the marine life due to which many aquatic animals are on the verge of the extinction. Thirdly, authorities should take a proper check regarding the increasing demand of vehicles as one family should allow only one vehicle and encourage the people to make use of public transport. For instance, Due to the rising graph in pollution in the Delhi because of which Delhi government started odd, even scheme which helped a lot in decreasing the pollutants in the air to some extent. Individuals also plays an important role in dealing with this issue. Firstly, every person at least plant one tree because this is the most important need of an hour. Secondly, people should use public transport as much as they can. Thirdly hunting should be stopped because of which many species are on the verge of an extinction. For instance, It is observed from the recent research that some countries like Sydney, where the level of pollution was at a very high level, but with the effort of administration and the citizens graph of pollution decreases in a very short span of time. To conclude, global warming is an alarming issue across the world and in order to cope with this problem government and citizens should work together to deal with this situation.
Nowadays, global warming becomes a burning problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
Did you mean "same"?
some
ways in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
damaging the environment. In this essay, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss my"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about my
opinion, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and an individual folk deal with this problem.

There are numerous remedies through which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should deal with this issue.
Firstly
, the authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a proper law for preserving the environment like forest land should
be reserved
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that nobody can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that land for establishing their industries and business.
Secondly
, stern actions should
be taken
against those industrialists who dumped their waste material into the rivers which affect the marine life due to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aquatic animals are on the verge of the extinction.
Thirdly
, authorities should take a proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
regarding the increasing demand of vehicles as one family should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one vehicle and encourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of public transport.
For instance
, Due to the rising graph in pollution in the Delhi
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which Delhi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
odd, even scheme which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
a lot in decreasing the pollutants in the air to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

Individuals
also
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in dealing with this issue.
Firstly
, every person at least plant one tree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
need of an hour.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport as much as they can.
Thirdly
hunting should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species are on the verge of an extinction.
For instance
, It
is observed
from the recent research that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries like Sydney, where the level of pollution was at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the effort of administration and the citizens graph of pollution decreases in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short span of time.

To conclude
, global warming is an alarming issue across the world and in order to cope with this problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and citizens should work together to deal with this situation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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