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Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do? v.10

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do? v. 10
There are some ways in which people contaminate the environment. People worsen air pollution by making cars as their primary mode of transportation. After all, the more cars are driven, the more carbon dioxide is produced. Factories are also the main perpetrators of pollution by producing so much waste. In addition, there are individuals who dump rubbish in inappropriate places, such as the river. Unfortunately, their reckless actions make the river a toxic place to live for fish and other river inhabitants, eventually kill them. The Government can solve environmental problems with a number of actions. One of them is to implement a pollution threshold for factories. If a company produces more pollution than the permitted threshold, it will be fined. Therefore, industrial companies would take necessary measures to reduce their waste. Another way is to improve public transportations. Reliable, clean, and safe mass transports will encourage people to use them, instead of using private cars. Apart from the Government, individuals too can partake in protecting the environment. Firstly, individuals can reduce household waste. For instance, people can use cloth-made-bags instead of plastic-made-bags when shopping. After all, plastic can not be decomposed and its build up will harm the Earth. Secondly, people should use more public transportation and if possible, walk more. That way, pollution that comes from vehicles can be minimised. In conclusion, people damage the environment with the high usage of private cars and industrial waste, and also by throwing rubbish irresponsibly. the Government can solve these problems by implementing waste limit and enhancing public transport system. Individuals can also help by lessening their household waste and travelling by mass transports and walking.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contaminate the environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
worsen air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
by making cars as their primary mode of transportation.
After all
, the more cars
are driven
, the more carbon dioxide
is produced
. Factories are
also
the main perpetrators of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
by producing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
.
In addition
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who dump rubbish in inappropriate places, such as the river. Unfortunately, their reckless actions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the river a toxic place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for fish and other river inhabitants,
eventually
kill them.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can solve environmental problems with a number of actions. One of them is to implement a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
threshold for factories. If a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
produces more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
than the permitted threshold, it will
be fined
.
Therefore
, industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would take necessary measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
. Another way is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public transportations. Reliable, clean, and safe mass transports will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them,
instead
of using private cars.

Apart from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
too can partake in protecting the environment.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cloth-made-bags
instead
of plastic-made-bags when shopping.
After all
, plastic can not
be decomposed
and its build up will harm the Earth.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more public transportation and if possible, walk more. That way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from vehicles can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimised' is British English.
minimised
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
damage the environment with the high usage of private cars and industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
, and
also
by throwing rubbish
irresponsibly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can solve these problems by implementing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
limit and enhancing public transport system.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by lessening their household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
and travelling by mass transports and walking.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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