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Book 8Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and five your own opinion v.2

Book 8Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. 2
In 21st century, the vogue of co-ed schools is rising tremendously where girls and boys receive education together. But is this kind of trend is advantageous for the society or it should be culminated? Although, there is a huge horde of people who discord this notion however there are equivalent number of people who rather strongly advocate it. In this essay, I will shed some light on both the ideas followed by my own opinion about it in the end. To embark upon, the paramount cause of this proposal being disapproved by a particular elite is that at this tender age, opposite sex attract towards each other. Hence, they get distracted from their main goal. For instance, my neighbour' s son Rajesh, a student of tenth standard used to like a girl in his class. Gradually, his fondness turned into desperation which not only depraved him but also compelled him to do certain objectionable activities that resulted in his expulsion from the institution. Thus, this proves the first point that co-ed schools can have adverse effects too. Conversely, deprivation of something may also lead to curiosity and later obsession as well. It is no exaggeration to state that when boys and girls are made to study separately, they become inquisitive indeed, pays even more attention in exploring about each other than usual and waste their precious time. I can reminisce, when I was in school that was only for boys, many of my friends used to rush to the girls school after finishing their own. It was simply because they could not see or talk to them otherwise. Absence of girls made them even more interesting and coveted for boys. Conspicuously, after mulling over both the aspects, I concluded that the benefits of co-ed education far outweigh any negative repercussions. It is due to the reason that it is natural to incline towards the contrary gender at teenage. However, insistence should be given on informing them about the pros and cons of such actions. In fact, parents must encourage their children to achieve their targets first to be successful in life instead of keeping them away from each other.
In 21st century, the vogue of co-ed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is rising
tremendously
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and boys receive education together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
is this kind of trend is advantageous for the society or it should
be culminated
? Although, there is a huge horde of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who discord this notion
however
there are equivalent number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
rather
strongly
advocate it. In this essay, I will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion about it in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

To embark upon, the paramount cause of this proposal
being disapproved
by a particular elite is that at this tender age, opposite sex attract towards each other.
Hence
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted from their main goal.
For instance
, my
Possible spelling mistake found.
neighbour&
#039; s son Rajesh, a student of tenth standard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Gradually
, his fondness turned into desperation which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
depraved him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
compelled him to do certain objectionable activities that resulted in his expulsion from the institution.
Thus
, this proves the
first
point that co-ed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can have adverse effects too.

Conversely
, deprivation of something may
also
lead to curiosity and later obsession
as well
. It is no exaggeration to state that when boys and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are made
to study
separately
, they become inquisitive
indeed
, pays even more attention in exploring about each other than usual and waste their precious time. I can reminisce, when I was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for boys,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of my friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to rush to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
after finishing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. It was
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
or talk to them
otherwise
. Absence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
made them even more interesting and coveted for boys.

Conspicuously
, after mulling over both the aspects, I concluded that the benefits of co-ed education far outweigh any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
repercussions. It is due to the reason that it is natural to incline towards the contrary gender at teenage.
However
, insistence should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
on informing them about the pros and cons of such actions. In fact, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage their children to achieve their targets
first
to be successful in life
instead
of keeping them away from each other.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Book 8Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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