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The maps below show the centre os a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for it's development. v.2

The maps below show the centre os a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for it's development. v. 2
The current situation and future plans for the centre of a small town known as Islip is depicts through two maps. A quick glance at both the maps is quite enough to make it clear that the marvellous alteration will seen in upcoming time period in Islip town centre. However, park will surprisingly reduce in size. In the current map of heart of the Islip town, main road is going from west to east between the shops. Countryside and housing are just above and under these outlets respectively. The southwest and southeast part of the map is taken by school and park. In comparison, with the present Islip town centre, the future Islip town centre will be completely modernise with the latest amenities. Dual carriageway will be surround the centre of a small town. Main road will be converted into pedestrains. Bus station, shopping centre, car park and new housing will be introduced instead of countryside and shops that is locates above the main road. Housing will be flourished from west to east also. On the other hand, park will be reduce. There will be no difference in the design of future school.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation and future plans for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
known as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Islip
is depicts through two maps.

A quick glance at both the maps is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'marvellous' is British English.
marvellous
alteration will
Did you mean "see" or "be seen"?
seen
in upcoming time period in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Islip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
However
, park will
surprisingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
in size.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
map of heart of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Islip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, main road is going from west to east between the shops. Countryside and housing are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above and under these outlets
respectively
. The southwest and southeast part of the map
is taken
by school and park.

In comparison
, with the present
Possible spelling mistake found.
Islip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, the future
Possible spelling mistake found.
Islip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
will be completely
Consider using a past participle here: "modernised".
modernise
with the latest amenities. Dual carriageway will be
Consider using a past participle here: "surrounded".
surround
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. Main road will
be converted
into
Possible spelling mistake found.
pedestrains
. Bus station, shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, car park and new housing will
be introduced
instead
of countryside and shops
that is
locates above the main road. Housing will
be flourished
from west to east
also
.
On the other hand
, park will be
Consider using the past participle "reduced"?
reduce
. There will be no difference in the design of future school.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The maps below show the centre os a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for it's development. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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