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The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. v.2

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. v. 2
The diagram presents West Park Secondary School at three different stages in its development: 1950, 1980 and 2010. As can be seen from the given illustration, the school went through different changes. In 1950, the school was built near the main road and near the school, there was a place for housing. An extensive spot behind the school was fixed for a playground, while the field behind the housing was a farmland. By 1980, the housing area had been knocked down in order to build a science block and a space for car parking. Moreover, a new sports field was established in the exact area where the farmland was and it is right next to the playground. In 2010, the school's main building and the science block were still intact but the car parking area had been extended and it consumed a great portion of the sports field and playground. During the given time, the area around West Park Secondary School has changed. In addition to a new science block, a larger car park has been constructed and extended. Hence, the spot for sports field and playground reduced.
The diagram presents West Park Secondary
School
at three
different
stages in its development: 1950, 1980 and 2010. As can be
seen
from the
given
illustration, the
school
went through
different
changes
.

In 1950, the
school
was built
near the main road and near the
school
, there was a place for housing. An extensive spot behind the
school
was
fixed
for a
playground
, while the
field
behind the housing was a farmland. By 1980, the housing
area
had
been knocked
down in order to build a science block and a space for car parking.
Moreover
, a new sports
field
was established
in the exact
area
where the farmland was and it is right
next
to the
playground
. In 2010, the school's main building and the science block were
still
intact
but
the car parking
area
had
been extended
and it consumed a great portion of the sports
field
and
playground
. During the
given
time, the
area
around West Park Secondary
School
has
changed
.
In addition
to a new science block, a larger car park has
been constructed
and extended.
Hence
, the spot for sports
field
and
playground
reduced
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS academic The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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